Yeah, I agree about the jar jar thing........after reading that synoposis of the story of Qui Gon and his importance to the movie.....your're right, Qui Gon should be the character that the audience should connect to the most. I think even the shots at the very beginning with him and obi wan are standing on the ship.....perhaps there should be more closeup shots of just qui-gons face and his "i'm bored, frustrated and confused" look on his face......which is how the audience will feel in this strange sitiuation. Brilliant! I love it, and that is exactly what I wanted from TPM when it came out, I was dissapointed that there wasn't a "connection" with anakin and quigon hardly at all. But the editting will cure this up.

An idea I had for quigons death scene:

-Darth Maul spins and makes the stab to his chest
-obi-wan screams NOO
-through obi wans "NOO" cut to scene of ankin in the space battle (there's a shot in the original where he makes a real mouth-opened , wide-eyed look as some fighters are coming at him). Take this shot and slow it down while playing the slow version of "the force" theme. Similar to the one during the lars' death scene in ANH.
-then cut to close up shot of quigon still standing in pain
-cut to shot of darth maul pulling out saber and spinning to face obi wan
-shot of obi wan staring with teeth gritting
-cut to shot of darth maul hitting the energy field with his lightsabre (take from earlier reference, works more violently in this situation to me)
- shot of obi wan looking at qui gon
- shot of darth maul pacing and smirking at obi wan

If your re-dubbing darth maul or grevious or whatever he'll be, then you could possibly add in some lines towards obi wan. I can't think of anything genius right now, but the potential is there.