A couple of lingering questions, which maybe you could work into or work around in the edit:

What happened to the captain of the Onyx Cinder after he crashed on At-Atan? Maybe he also confronted the Supervisor AI and got killed by it when his true agenda was discovered? Maybe the AI could drop a line that implies this?
If the Onyx Cinder was originally a native At-Atan ship and that’s why it was allowed through the barrier, who was its captain and what was its purpose? Was the original pirate captain from At-Atan in the first place, or maybe he captured the actual envoy who was supposed to use the ship to travel back and forth? Maybe that’s why the AI recognized Jod as an envoy.
And again, as has been brought up multiple times now, why does Jod tell the pirates to attack? Wouldn’t a better tactic have been to simply replace the Supervisor and send shipments of credits out to his crew every few months? Could you somehow imply that this was his original plan but that it had been blocked by something, maybe the kids blowing the cover on him or his ship’s actual identity? That way, just like with the kids, he would start out trying to be a friend, but if needed, he would change angles and use fear to get what he wants.