Some thoughts:

I think you might need to include them going into the water. The cut from “This way, hurry!” to them underwater swimming is a little rough. I think the “Canon Cut” can restore some silly “Jar Jar moments” since a lot of other ones will still be cut out. EDIT: Rewatched the OG scene, definitely mute his scream when he dives into the water.
Yeah, definitely cut the cheesy: “Through the plannnnnnnet corrrrre”
Remove Jar Jar’s over the top “OAHHHH” when the fish first sticks his tongue to the bongo