One, very confused whats going on in the scene, need to see the dialogue or subtitles to really make a opinion on its dramatic/story telling significance.
Two, Maul looks like a standing dummy just crossing his hands. Is there any way you can use footage from the Maul sequence on Coroscant like his face or the angle of the shot, or the scene on Theeds when he is walking/talking to Sidious.
Three, why didnt you have any scenes of Maul speaking like "Tatooine is sparsely populated. If the trace was correct, I will find them quickly, master."
I really like the first one better mostly for the second scene, now thats perfect, no dialouge and the music works great with what Maul is doing, all menace and planning. A true music opera as GL envisioned as you dont need any words to convey whats going on.
Can you use any dialogue from the video games or novel audio recording?
Maybe since you dont want to show Sidious you can insert the line to end the conversation, "At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge." or even cut it too, "At last we will reveal ourselves. At last we will have revenge."
Is this all rough cut or are people actually going to make new CGI scenes?
"Fear. Fear attracts the fearful. The strong. The weak. The innocent. The corrupt. Fear. Fear is my ally." you have to use that.
You can also create just dialogue with black background like in the beginning of Fellowship of the rings.