Sage, I wonder if you would mind e-mailing me or signing up on MSN messenger so we can proparly chat. I have been feeling like you for a long time, and yesterday I realised that I have reverted to my old cynical, hateful ways. It happened because I was tidying up and I found a journal that I was writing this time last year. I started writing the journal as a way of consolidating my thougts and feelings and making sense of them. As I read the journal I realsied that a lot of the personal discoveries I made during the course of writing had once again been lost. This morning I vowed to get back onto the path and trybto make my life and the life of others better but I don't know how. And to top it off I am at this very moment involved in an e-mail debate with a friend of mine and his ol;der brother who both work corporate office jobs and are telling me I'm a fool to even think like this and I should just shut up and join them and the rest of the world in the pursuit of riches and sex. And that whole post was a rambling mess. Fuck I need to do something. Signing off.