BB2 Feedback:

I think the Crawl can be a bit more vague. Should be enough to mention that the Batch is laying low. Phee does not need to be introduced by name here.

In the same vein, it should be enough if the crawl says that Echo and Rex are off together.

Also, showing the attack of Rex and Echo on that convoy and extracting the data would be a good, action filled start to the edit. And it would establish the stolen data a bit better.

Furthermore, if direct references to Crosshairs crime are taken out, it would be implied in this edit that Crosshair is just taken prisoner because he is supposed to be questioned about the whereabouts of his squad. Which means his portion of the Crawl can be omitted and we don’t have such a big thing happening offscreen.
Ideally, there would an “Intermission” short movie or something that has Crosshairs journey in it. But I think that goes a bit against your vision.