aGreatHumanBeing and justinbailey627, thanks for the feedback! I think you’re both correct. The text did feel a touch off and I think it is the amount of words. I think you’re suggestion to increase the information provided is a good one justinbailey627 but I’m not 100% sure about your proposed wording. I can’t believe I missed putting grand admiral in there 😂 so that will definitely be included.

I’ve decreased the size of the crawl text slightly and rewritten the text based on your provided suggestions:

The evil Galactic Empire reigns.
Pockets of rebellion struggle
for survival, scattered across
the vast galaxy.

GRAND ADMIRAL THRAWN has
begun construction on a new
starfighter, the TIE defender. It
is far more powerful than the
original design, equipped with
impressive speed and a vicious
weapon arsenal. Thrawn has
hidden the factory for their
construction on Lothal, a planet
in the distant fringes of the
Outer Rim.

As the desperate inhabitants of
Lothal continue to suffer, two
Jedi Knights return to their
small band of rebels based on
Yavin IV…

I’m reluctant to change the final paragraph as it mirrors the official crawls in terms of language and information provided but if I get enough feedback that says to change it, I will! Haha

How it looks: