I posted this on Reddit a few months ago and I was wondering what you guys here would think about it. I’m always looking for feedback and (constructive) criticism
Also, I think I may have overstuffed this rewrite by adding in Mara Jade, I forgot R2 and 3PO a lot and I don’t think I did a good job giving Leia any sort of arc)
We open on Vader’s shuttle going from the Executor down to the dirty and dingy city planet of Had Abbadon which is also the capital of the Empire. The shuttle touches down in front of the Imperial Palace. Vader then travels down a long elevator into the throne room, which looks the same as the real ROTJ except the scaffolding is in the midst of a cave above a lake of lava while the window is actually a screen.
The Emperor chastises Vader for continually failing to capture/kill Luke. Vader tries to interject about how Luke will turn soon but Palpatine silences him and says that he has been given too much freedom of late and that he will dispose of Vader if he fails again. Vader leaves and returns to the shuttle. While in the shuttle flying back, he talks to holograms of several admirals (including Thrawn) about overthrowing Palpatine.
Meanwhile back in the throne room Palpatine calls for his hand (Mara Jade), telling her to find and either capture or kill Luke before Vader gets to him first. She says his will shall be done.
We then cut to Dagobah where Luke is climbing a mountain with Yoda on his back. They reach the top and travel into a cave filled with Kyber crystals but also a huge Rancor-ish monster. However, Luke successfully uses the force to pacify it and put it into a deep sleep. He then takes a green crystal and goes back to Yoda’s hut. There the aged jedi master instructs Luke on finishing his new lightsaber. After this is complete, Yoda says he needs rest and the scene goes similar to the real movie with Luke getting confirmation that Vader is Luke’s father but there is also the revelation that Obi Wan was ordered by Yoda not to tell the truth to Luke. Yoda also mentions how he has a secret sister. He then fades away and Luke walks outside distraught when Obi Wan’s force ghost suddenly materializes in front of him. They also have a talk similar to the real film, though Kenobi doesn’t use the “certain point of view” cop out. He admits his and Yodas deception and the fact that they would have told Luke when he was ready, but unfortunately Luke left and faced Vader before that point. Obi Wan then says that Vader most likely cannot be redeemed but Luke can try if he feels it’s right. He also doesn’t know of any sister.
After the talk, Luke gets a message from Leia. They have found the whereabouts of Han and something else that could be the key to defeating the Empire. We then cut to the planet of Sicemon which is a Mediterranean like world with beautiful stone towns filled with the richest and most powerful crime lords of the galaxy. Jabba’s compound is the largest on the planet and is stunningly beautiful. Monaco or Dubai levels of decadence. Luke’s X-Wing covertly lands in the hills above the palace and he meets Leia and several other Rebel Commandos. We learn that Lando and Chewbacca infiltrated Jabba’s inner circle months ago back on Tatooine before Jabba moved his operation here. Lando not only discovered Han but also an Imperial shuttle and codes that grant it access to Had Abaddon. This is obviously very important as it means that if the rebels capture it then they can land a strike team to infiltrate the capitol. There is a subtle sadness to Luke and Leias interactions, though Leia doesn’t notice. Luke is aware that she loves Han and has accepted that fact but he still clearly has some feelings that he keeps to himself.
Luke, Leia and the rest of the commandos infiltrate the palace using the help of Lando and Chewie as they unlock the back entrance. Inside the palace, it looks similar to the real ROTJ (Jabba looks similar as well) but unlike the real movie, our heroes blast their way through the guards and up to Bib Fortuna and Jabba. They force Jabba to give them the code and then knock him out. Han is extracted from the carbonite but it’s clear he needs medical attention. The heroes rush out of the palace and reach the Shuttle which has been parked out in front as a status symbol. Unfortunately, they are accosted by Boba Fett who was secretly watching from a warehouse across the street. Luke manages to distract and fight Boba in a running battle up the side of one of the magnificent stone structures. His lightsaber bounces off Bobas armor and so Luke beats him by using the force to redirect Bobas missile (which he just fired at Luke) back around to him, blowing Boba Fett to smithereens.
Our heroes then blast off, Luke in his X-Wing and the rest in the Imperial shuttle. And go back to the Rebel fleet which is still floating around in space like we saw them last in ESB. The Millenium Falcon is also there with it having been picked up by other Rebels on the request of Lando while he traveled to Sicemon with Jabba. R2 and 3PO reunite again and start bickering as usual while Han is put in Bacta. When he awakes, Han punches Lando in the face and tries to choke him to death before being pulled off by everyone. The fact that Lando helped everyone else escape Cloud City is explained to Han by Chewie and Leia. He reluctantly agrees to work with Lando, but it’s clear he still distrusts him. After catching up, Han and Leia go somewhere private to talk about their relationship and what happened while Luke goes to his assigned room to get some sleep.
Han and Leia finally both confess their feelings to the other and Leia opens up about how awful it’s been trying to help run the Rebellion in the last few months. Han reassures her in his Hannish way about how they’ll get through this. I’m not good at writing romance but suffice to say the two kiss and fall on to the bed before we cut. We then see Lukes nightmare of burning planets, mountains of corpses, his friends in agony, and the voice of Vader and the Emperor both entreating him to kill the other and rule the galaxy. Luke wakes up and walks through the hall of the ship to a window and by the light of the stars he slumps down and cries.
We cut back to Sicemon where Mara Jade and a detachment of Stormtroopers have landed, searching for Luke’s whereabouts. She tortures an injured Jabba who finally reveals that he gave the rebels a code to sneak onto Had Abbadon. Mara then decapitates Jabba and contacts the Emperor. He simply laughs and says everything is proceeding as he has foreseen. Palpatine then orders Mara back to Had Abbadon, saying that Luke will come to them.
We then transition to the Executor Orbiting the city planet itself; we see Vader in his meditation chamber. He is trying to call out to Luke but instead he gets a surprise when he sees Obi Wan’s force ghost instead. He tells Vader that time is short and that soon he will be forced to choose. Obi Wan tells Vader that while he himself has doubts, Luke believes he can turn Vader back to the light and he is his only chance to break free. Vader angrily says that he is strong in his belief in the Dark Side and that Obi Wan and Luke are fools. It’s Luke that will succumb to the Dark side, not Vader to the Light. Obi Wan says that only the force knows the answer. He is just the messenger and it is up to the living to decide which path to take. He fades away. A single tear winds its way down Vader’s mangled face.
Vader then storms out onto the bridge presumably to order for the coup to commence. However he is in for a rude awakening. The Emperor is there, surrounded by his guard, Mara Jade and several of the Admirals Vader was speaking with in the beginning (including Thrawn in the back). The whole thing was a trap. The Emperor says that Vader has strayed from his leash for far too long. Without moving an inch, Palpatine uses the force to push Vader down into a kneeling position. He then says that Vader will know the true meaning of pain in the years to come, back under his full control. He raises his hands but we cut away to the outside of the Executor before we see what Palpatine did. We do however hear Vader’s screams of pain as we cut.
The scene transitions to the meeting room we know from the real ROTJ where the Rebels led by Mon Mothma outline their plan of landing a party of soldiers on Had Abbadon with the Imperial Shuttle. These rebels will then attack and destroy the shield generator protecting the planet’s newly installed giant laser cannons, similar to the death star canons. allowing the Rebel fleet to take the capitol. Our characters listen to the plan intently but Luke seems very tired and distracted. Leia asks what’s wrong, but Luke just pushes her away, saying he’s fine. Han doesn’t want to lead the ground team because he doesn’t trust Lando with the Falcon but ultimately relents while wishing Lando good luck sort of sarcastically but with a hint of sincerity buried underneath it.
The scene on the shuttle is similar enough with Luke sensing Vader and saying he shouldn’t have come with everyone. Just like in the real film, they get past safely and land. In this version however, they land in a rusting industrial district of Had Abbadon where the shield generator is located, instead of the forests of Endor. Our heroes are horrified to learn that this part of the planet is populated by slave laborers from all sorts of alien species, including many Wookie’s to the anger of Chewie. Our heroes get in touch with some escaped slaves, including a Wookie who was an old friend of Chewie’s back on Kashyyyk before the Empire’s slave raids. They all stay the night in a safehouse on the lower levels of the city while they all come up with the idea to stage a prison break and use that as an excuse to attack the shield generator.
Chewie and C3PO give their speeches to the escaped slaves that emboldens them to fight while Luke walks to the door and is confronted by Han and Leia about what’s going on with him and where he is going. Luke finally tells them the truth about Vader being his father and the fact he needs to face him. He also comes to terms with the fact that Leia loves Han not him by asking them to take care of each other and that he wishes for them to be happy. Luke leaves his shocked friends and gives himself over to the Empire. He meets Mara who is very smug about “capturing” him and Luke is transported to a cell in the Emperor’s palace to await his meeting with the Emperor.
The next day the plan is put into action. The rebels storm the prison with the freed slaves and spark a general uprising all across the planet. They then capture the shield generator with the help of stolen speeder bikes. But it seems a bit easy…too easy. The rebel techs work on the shields and they start having problems taking them down. Meanwhile Luke meets Vader who is to bring him to the Emperor’s chambers. Vader is very dejected and fatalistic, just as he is in the actual movie but now we know why he changed his tune. His attempt to overthrow the Emperor failed. Vader is resigned to the fact that he will be the Emperor’s slave, just as Luke shall soon be. Luke and Palpatine meet face to face at last and it’s also almost exactly the same as the film we got. It is now when the Emperor reveals the shields are fully operational as the Rebel fleet comes out of hyperspace and is blasted by the two large defensive laser cannons. As Admiral Ackbar says “It’s a trap!!!”. Luke then tries to kill the Emperor only to get blocked by Vader’s saber beginning the duel that’s basically the same as the real film. Meanwhile at the same time, the rest of our heroes on the ground team get attacked by the elite Emperor’s guard led by Mara.
Its slaughter. The armor the guard wears is a lot harder to penetrate than regular Stormtrooper armor. They can still go down, but not in one or two hits like normal. Meanwhile in space above, the Rebel fleet is getting destroyed, with Lando and the Falcon narrowly avoiding destruction several times with the help of Wedge. Han gets wounded by a blaster bolt and it is serious. He decides to blow up the generator as it seems like there is no way to shut it down otherwise. He instructs Leia, Chewie and the rest to get out of the blast radius. Han and Leia say their goodbyes repeating the “I love you, I know” now reversed. There is then a speeder bike chase throughout the rusting city with Mara Jade leading the Imperial forces chasing the heroes. Meanwhile Luke is at that point in the duel where he is hiding from Vader. Han then blows up the generator, dying in the process.
The explosion is felt even in the lava strewn bowls of Palpatine’s lair. Luke can tell Han died and Vader uses his grief to make Luke turn. The fight then once again progresses as normal as Luke cuts off Vader’s hands before stopping. Having the same revelation as the real movie. He throws away his saber and declares he shall never turn. Palpatine then electrocutes him. At the same time, Leia and Chewie are fighting Mara and the remainder of the Imperial guard on a speeder bike chase. The bike crashes and the foes face off. Leia, having grabbed a vibroblade from a dead guard earlier fights toe to toe with Mara’s lightsaber (though it’s clear Leia is unskilled and her Vibroblade is taking a beating from the lightsaber) while Chewie fights the guards single handedly, fueled by the rage and grief he feels for the dead Han.
Up in space, the battle is still tense, but now the Rebels have an actual shot to win because the shield is gone.The Executor gets taken out, similar to the real ROTJ. Wedge and Lando realize this is their chance and both dive towards the cannons. Meanwhile Luke is still being tortured by the Emperor and screams out to Vader to save him, just like in the canon ROTJ. Vader is silent but the voice of Obi Wan talking about last chances can be faintly heard. Anakin Skywalker silently picks up Palpatine and throws him screaming down into the Lava below the catwalks despite the damage and pain of the force lightning. At the same time, Lando and Wedge destroy the two canons and the remains of the Imperial fleet begin to limp away including a Star Destroyer with Thrawn. Chewie finally dispatches the rest of the Imperial guard and saves Leia (who’s blade finally gave out) by pushing Mara Jade off of the building/warehouse/factory they were fighting atop (we don’t see her land hint hint).
Luke takes Vader up the elevator to the entrance of the Imperial Palace and takes off Vader’s helmet. Anakin can look at the sky and feel the wind on his face one final time. The conversation is similar to canon, except when Luke asks about if he has a sister and Vader says “Sister…your sister…” and dies (fading away like Obi Wan and Yoda). Luke hugs the empty armor with tears in his eyes. He then looks up at the triumphant rebel ships and the celebrating civilians and wipes the tears away, smiling.
We then cut to a few months later. Had Abbadon is getting repaired from the battle, the Republic has begun to be restored, despite the numerous territories still held under Imperial rule but more worlds are revolting against the imperials every day. Leia is about to be crowned as queen of the surviving citizens of Alderaan. Before that however, Leia visits the vast graveyard for everyone who died during the battle, including Han. Luke is there already and the two of them talk. Leia is also showing signs of pregnancy and Luke gets confirmation that the child is Hans. He then tells Leia that he has a sister somewhere and he intends to find her and train her in the ways of the force. If he can’t find her, then he plans to take on apprentices and rebuild the Jedi order and travel the galaxy righting wrongs any way he can. It’s his duty as the last of the Jedi. However, Luke promises that Leia can contact him if there is ever an emergency and hands her a two way hologram communication device.
3PO, R2, Chewie and Lando then arrive and each mourn for Han. It is revealed that Chewie is to become Leia’s security chief while 3PO is the official royal translator. Lando has become an admiral in the New Republic and will soon be away on campaigns to get rid of imperial warlords. R2 meanwhile is going with Luke much to 3POs dismay. They all hug or something and say their goodbyes. We then see the coronation which is almost an inverse to the celebration at the end of ANH. Luke sees Obi Wan, Yoda and Anakin’s force ghosts in the back of the ceremony. WE then cut to Luke flying his X-Wing with R2 away from Had Abbadon. R2 asks where they are going and Luke says with a small smile “wherever we are needed”. He jumps to hyperspace and the credits roll.