We haven't heard a lot from you, so I know you're busy. But you did say to get our ideas to you asap-- and I have these ideas on my desk. (And unlike all the other crap I've posted here this weekend-- this has to do with EPISODE II.
Ideas for snips and changes to enhance the droids and the emotion:
--"Feature" Artoo (with either close ups or more interesting "dialogue") at beginning of all sequences with Padme/Anakin (add Anakin dialogue "Hurry up, Artoo" as the approach Padme's family house) Insert close ups. -- arriving/walking across courtyard at Naboo; walking up to Padme's house; walking into Owen Lars farm.
--Key missing Sound effects: WIND needs to be added to the Kenobi/Windu talk on the flight deck -- it sounds like they're talking in a green screen studio (I wonder why?); There need to be cool Star Wars kitchen noises as Beru gets tea. More environmental noises (WIND, animal CRIES, ECHOES) on Geonosis exteriors. Muffled factory noises as Kenobi walks toward droid factory (everything is so quiet, like a church). Carpet the Geonosis interiors with loud/muffled factory noises (as the shots dictate)-- it's a frickin' factory, fer chissake. Add sounds of Sandpeople outside as Anakin saves Shmi -- they could arrive at any moment as he holds her, but he doesn't care.
--Shorten things as we arrive on Lars farm. 1. Threepio's awkward shuffle upon seeing Anakin is painfully bad to me -- I suggest you Cut off his line at "Oh!" when he hears why Anakin's there. Then have Threepio pause... "I see..." Then he walks off, knowing this is bad, but unsure what to say. 2. Next scene -- Cut off Threepio's introduction at "Master Owen..." (cut "Let me introduce two important characters..."). Let Anakin say "I'm Anakin Skywalker" Cut Owen's introduction of Beru completely - it's awkward and we don't need it. 3. Shorten the shots of Beru getting tea. Get us upstairs faster.
Recut Clieg Lars telling the Shmi story extensively: emphasize Padme and Anakin. It's cut now without a hell of a lot of thought-- I'll post my ideas for this soon.
When Padme says goodbye to Anakin before he races off to see his mom, they have a bunch of dialogue that means NOTHING! The awesome scene needs silence -- except for at the hug when she says "Anakin." Bringing up the music cue earlier will make the scene work as it's supposed to-- play the entire piece instead of cutting it off the way it is now.
--It is possible to have too many close ups, apparently. The end of Anakin/Padme scene in garage where he cries about not being a good enough Jedi-- the close ups actually ruin the tension because they are not good. The scene plays better from the master shot, and there's plenty of it. I recommend cutting those close ups of Anakin and Padme.
--Another Artoo scene: The arrival of Kenobi's message. First, move it between the Anakin/Padme garage scene and the funeral-- so Kenobi's invading Anakin's private space again. Second, Give Artoo a more animated job trying to get good reception: He sees Kenobi, but the message fizzles; he turns to plug into the wall, he struggles to keep a lock on it, his whistles and chirps say "Come on-- come on-- come on, you bastard, work!" and then finally, "Got it!" That could be a charming Artoo bit, right in character for him and welcome at this point in the story.
--There's too much emphasis on the shot in the Arena of Boba Fett holding Jengo's head -- I recommend shortening it ever so slightly and making it a bit of a "background" shot by playing the rocket sounds of taking off ships loudly as he holds the helmet -- everyone's leaving and no one cares... I think this will play more poignant and less as an interruption.
That's all I have for now. I will have to get back to you with details about how I'd fix the Clieg Lars tells Shmi's story scene. I see clearly how it should play more off Anakin and Padme's faces -- not Clieg. Who cares to look at that guy while he talks? The point is supposed to be Anakin getting pushed to the edge-- but you'd never get it from the way that scene is cut.
Thanks for reading. You are King of the Ranch!