I like the writing, both yours and Dimitirios versions, but… this would probably be the biggest monologue Din has had in the series, right? To me, that is too much weight to give to AI, it will come off flat compared to what the moment should be. I think it has to be a lot shorter unfortunately. Narrow it down to 3 or 5 of the best lines yall can come up with. Thats just my opinion.
(I think the AI did good on that line “It’s about what you stand for Bo Katan”. Which is funny because it does it with a less serious voice than the rest of the monologue, but yet that managed to sound more natural as a result. Not saying that should be one of the lines, but js it did sound good imo).
Edit: Just to be clear, the idea of Din standing up and making these decisions for his people, and having a big monologue, I think is cool and great development for him. But I just doubt these AI models will be able to pull off the weight that is required for ab extensive monologue, for what should be one of his biggest character development moments.
I watched a video of Gary Oldman recently talking about Chris Nolan. And he said while they were filming a scene in batman, after one of the takes Nolan gave him one piece of direction which was “There’s more at stake.” And that was all Oldman needed to turn the notch up on the emotion and the weight needed for the scene. I feel like that’s what I want to tell this AI lol
Yes, this would be one of the longest speaking sections for Din, so perhaps it’s just too out of character for him to deliver a speech in the first place? Though compare this test to the original scene. I don’t know if I’d call that “emotion” in the first place, I guess you can say he projects his voice out like yelling more, but it’s so short and still quite monotone. I wish I could replicate a mixture of this in my model though, I think just that extra oomf in the delivery would make the difference. But here’s the script of the original scene:
BK: It’s not a gift to be given, no matter how well intended.
DD: It’s not a gift. While exploring Mandalore, I was captured, and this blade was taken from me. Bo Katan rescued me and slayed my captor. She defeated the enemy that defeated me. Would this blade then not belong to her? Would it not belong to her?
AW: It would.
DD: I return this blade to its rightful owner.
Yikes! Not great… But if we want to keep a similar depiction of stoic but somewhat emotional Din, that’s all the time we have to work with. How do we devise a compromise here where we can still communicate a sensible story without needing Din to go out of character by talking too much?
How about this (needs more “pathos”, more about the general idea):
DD: Your people believe it is to be earned in combat, i know. But you did not loose Mandalore, because you accepted this weapon as a gift. You lost Mandalore because our tribes were splintered, caught in a cycle of fighting each other. Mandalorians have fought over beliefs, grudges and… this weapon. If the darksaber really is meant to be a symbol of our unity, we must not fight each other over it. It shall be a gift, given from one Mandalorian to another… one tribe to another… Because we are one people. Exiled from our home. Wouldnt it be our best chance to retake our home… together?
I think making the “rules” behind the darksaber a parallel to the Mandalorian infighting of the tribes has some potential. It also sets up the lesser importance of the weapon, making the unification of the tribes Bo Katans claim to fame.
I like some of the ideas in here, just gotta figure out a way to get the delivery to feel right now too. Season 3 had so many technicalities for plotlines that were barely discussed, and they even did it again with “Din Grogu” at the very end. So, so many conversations about bending the rules with barely a sentence or two to explain why it’s happening. Kind of frustrating.
edit:
As to the resolution of the Mandalore storyline. Since there is a good Armorer Model around, maybe a few scenic shots of Mandalore with a voiceover of her could do the trick? She could talk about how after the retaking of Mandalore and the destruction of the darksaber the tribes united in the belief in the Mythosaur and Bo Katan (who bears his symbol). It breaks the “show dont tell” rule, but since we have to work with what we got, it might be worth considering.
I really like this idea too, and there is room for it in some scenes during the final sequence. Maybe to even replace some of that “Din Grogu” technicality. Not to get rid of that name or anything, but they get all the way up to Grogu about to be baptized and then have a mini argument and bend another rule at the last second… Just a tiring trend so I’ll look at cleaning up that sequence with some Armorer lines too.