One idea involves manipulating footage to get him off Naboo during the climax and back onto the droid control ship. This loses the Padme-capturing-Gunray thread, streamlining the end and dropping a lot of its lamest sequences.
Gunray leaving the planet would be an obvious way to help the removal of the "capture the viceroy finale," and also explain why he is still in power with the Trade Federation come Episodes 2 and 3. I'd say some dialogue between Nute and Rune in the Palace after the control ship is destroyed addressing their need to evacuate would work for this scenario. They have been arrogantly monitoring the battle only to find their army rendered useless and now they have to make a run for it. One line in particular I have in mind, "What about the Sith?" "Lord Grievous can take care of himself. Come on!" No need for them to die, as InfoDroid points out, Darth Vader survived ANH after all. Since Nute is being made into a more formidable adversary why kill him off in 1 when he is in 2 and 3 already anyway? The notion of "Carl" is amusing but would create more problems than it would solve.
Qui-Gon's will work because of his voiceover nature at that point. The rest, not so much. And I thought Anakin's goodbye to his mother was excellent.
"Gunray. Carl Gunray. At your service. You killed my brother. Prepare to die."
Gunray leaving the planet would be an obvious way to help the removal of the "capture the viceroy finale," and also explain why he is still in power with the Trade Federation come Episodes 2 and 3. I'd say some dialogue between Nute and Rune in the Palace after the control ship is destroyed addressing their need to evacuate would work for this scenario. They have been arrogantly monitoring the battle only to find their army rendered useless and now they have to make a run for it. One line in particular I have in mind, "What about the Sith?" "Lord Grievous can take care of himself. Come on!" No need for them to die, as InfoDroid points out, Darth Vader survived ANH after all. Since Nute is being made into a more formidable adversary why kill him off in 1 when he is in 2 and 3 already anyway? The notion of "Carl" is amusing but would create more problems than it would solve.
Consider if Anakin's connection to Qui Gon didn't drop when he flew off into battle-- what if Qui-Gon were mentally communicating with Anakin?
I posted some very specific ideas on this a few pages back, and those stil stand. No lashing out in anger with the torpedoes, just Anakin "concentrating on the moment" and all that.
-Interesting opinion on the Japor snippet scene, but I think some dialogue is needed to establish just what it is Anakin's giving to Padme.
-Yes, Anakin going to say goodbye to Padme only to meet Amidala MUST go.
-The rest of your editing suggestions on Coruscant I disagree with, as I think they are fine as they are in the movie.
-Something must be done about 3P0, that's for sure.
I think ALL the tone poems could actually play a role in making this work -- using Maul's to beef his character up before his big battle, using Shmi's to beef up the underwhelming good-bye scene; the new, quieter and more powerful Anakin will allow this stuff to work.
I posted some very specific ideas on this a few pages back, and those stil stand. No lashing out in anger with the torpedoes, just Anakin "concentrating on the moment" and all that.
If you were to only cut Sidious' presence down, what scenes would you keep? The balcony scene with Maul is the only one that can't be covered another way. But it stands out like a sore thumb, slowing down the narrative and introducing a plot of "revenge" that I still don't quite understand.
Good point about the balcony scene, as it also establishes Sidious on Coruscant, something that I've just now realized was a terrible idea. I love the establishing music for the scene though and Maul has his famous, "At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi, at last we will have revenge." I'd hate to lose this but it's indeed looking like it must go along with the rest of Sidious. I must be promised this music be used somewhere else in the PT though! (I'm thinking Episode 3) If we can't devise a way to absolutely omit Sidious, a less extensive form of what you've proposed would be cutting down his communications with the TF to 2 or 3 exchanges with all pertanent info edited into them. Just another option for TM to consider.
Yes! When my friends and I watch TPM we always find it amusing to focus on this guy's negativity. And Maul arrving on Tatooine earlier is a smart move.
The Handmaiden stuff is still necessary, but can be dramatically reduced with a couple clever edits-- one, her "space is cold" scene with Anakin can be played without dialogue and actually have dramatic power. Two: the scene where Anakin goes to say goodbye to her and meets Amidala changing can be cut completely. The whole Coruscant sequence needs to be reduced by at least 1/3-- put all the Palpatine/Senate stuff into one continuous sequence (cut the actual Senate meeting down by half-- it's easy) and all the Jedi/Anakin stuff into a second sequence-- then end it with Amidala's decision to leave and suddenly the scenes can each be dramatically reduced. (With some clever re-ordering) they flow better this way and we get off that stinking city-planet and back to the battle a lot faster. I think the "Anakin shows Padme his droid C3P0" scene can be moved to make Padme come off better there too. There are a lot of opportunities left.
Good point about the balcony scene, as it also establishes Sidious on Coruscant, something that I've just now realized was a terrible idea. I love the establishing music for the scene though and Maul has his famous, "At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi, at last we will have revenge." I'd hate to lose this but it's indeed looking like it must go along with the rest of Sidious. I must be promised this music be used somewhere else in the PT though! (I'm thinking Episode 3) If we can't devise a way to absolutely omit Sidious, a less extensive form of what you've proposed would be cutting down his communications with the TF to 2 or 3 exchanges with all pertanent info edited into them. Just another option for TM to consider.
He needs to have a special ability to communicate through the Force, to living people, without speaking. If he's going to have a link with Qui-Gon, it'll be a little different than Vader reading Luke's emotions in the OT. But being the "chosen one" makes this leap do-able; and it leads to many advantages.
I can see where you're going with this but it doesn't do much but cause more confusion IMO. Outside the first Padme conversation this would seem totally out of place. If it could be achieved in this one scene only however, I might go along with it. You're absolutely right about her reactions.
MagnoliaFan shared a way to remove Syfo-Dias with TM, and although they aren't going to reveal it I've always suspected this is what it was. Just snip Obi-Wan's references to him being killed and all that and there you go. Qui-Gon would also be an interesting name to plug in there, but I don't think it could be resolves properly.
One of my biggest problems is with Captain Tanaka. I think that guy's a douche and his costume is the silliest of the entire Saga-- worse than Jar Jar's. Editing the whole escape to Tatooine so that it emphasizes the tension better would mean cutting tons of material out of there-- like the "His number is artoo-deetoo"/"I do not agree with the Jedi on this" scene. His other scenes can be trimmed within an inch of their life too-- especially with Maul on Tatooine raising the tension and making Qui-Gon's need to win the pod-race more urgent.
I can see where you're going with this but it doesn't do much but cause more confusion IMO. Outside the first Padme conversation this would seem totally out of place. If it could be achieved in this one scene only however, I might go along with it. You're absolutely right about her reactions.
First, when Anakin destroys the droid ship and Qui Gon dies in Obi-Wan's arms-- the movie quickly rushes into beureaucratic stuff on Naboo and never gets back to the most important beat of all; namely: What does Anakin think about having lost Qui Gon? The answer is The Qui Gon Tone Poem: played over footage of Anakin flying the Naboo fighter after destroying the droid ship leading into a montage of quieter images-- Qui Gon's words about the hardships of the path before Anakin provide the important thematic that the whole movie is lacking. I always got a bigger charge out of the marketing of the PT than I did out of the movies. Here's the perfect place to combine them (I know Trooperman also wants to use the tone poems in Episode II -- I don't think repeating them is really a bad idea if we must. I know the Qui Gon tone poem fits most perfectly here, at the end of Episode I where the emotion over QG's death is highest.)
Yes! This is what I was looking to acheive when I suggestion this play in Anakin's head at Qui-Gon's funeral. I always thought it wouldn't fit in very well there, and I was right. I hope approriate Anakin footage can be found to accompany this. (This is very much like "Remember, the Force will be with you, always..." at the end of ANH, which I'm sure is what gave you the inspiration for it.)
Yes, it's as if that's what the shot was originally intended to do, but it's signifigance got lost somewhere because of various things such as Sidious' presence in the film and the audience knowing Palpatine would become the Emperor.
"Sypho-Dias" change to "Sidious" also becomes a major no-brainer and the answer to the problems a lot of people have with that subplot.
Yes! This is what I was looking to acheive when I suggestion this play in Anakin's head at Qui-Gon's funeral. I always thought it wouldn't fit in very well there, and I was right. I hope approriate Anakin footage can be found to accompany this. (This is very much like "Remember, the Force will be with you, always..." at the end of ANH, which I'm sure is what gave you the inspiration for it.)
Remember, without Sidious, the slow pan to Palpatine at Qui Gon's funeral becomes more meaningful and subtle. I think this is the route things would have gone if Episode I were made before ANH.
Yes, it's as if that's what the shot was originally intended to do, but it's signifigance got lost somewhere because of various things such as Sidious' presence in the film and the audience knowing Palpatine would become the Emperor.
"Sypho-Dias" change to "Sidious" also becomes a major no-brainer and the answer to the problems a lot of people have with that subplot.
MagnoliaFan shared a way to remove Syfo-Dias with TM, and although they aren't going to reveal it I've always suspected this is what it was. Just snip Obi-Wan's references to him being killed and all that and there you go. Qui-Gon would also be an interesting name to plug in there, but I don't think it could be resolves properly.
One of my biggest problems is with Captain Tanaka. I think that guy's a douche and his costume is the silliest of the entire Saga-- worse than Jar Jar's. Editing the whole escape to Tatooine so that it emphasizes the tension better would mean cutting tons of material out of there-- like the "His number is artoo-deetoo"/"I do not agree with the Jedi on this" scene. His other scenes can be trimmed within an inch of their life too-- especially with Maul on Tatooine raising the tension and making Qui-Gon's need to win the pod-race more urgent.
Yes! When my friends and I watch TPM we always find it amusing to focus on this guy's negativity. And Maul arrving on Tatooine earlier is a smart move.
The Handmaiden stuff is still necessary, but can be dramatically reduced with a couple clever edits-- one, her "space is cold" scene with Anakin can be played without dialogue and actually have dramatic power. Two: the scene where Anakin goes to say goodbye to her and meets Amidala changing can be cut completely. The whole Coruscant sequence needs to be reduced by at least 1/3-- put all the Palpatine/Senate stuff into one continuous sequence (cut the actual Senate meeting down by half-- it's easy) and all the Jedi/Anakin stuff into a second sequence-- then end it with Amidala's decision to leave and suddenly the scenes can each be dramatically reduced. (With some clever re-ordering) they flow better this way and we get off that stinking city-planet and back to the battle a lot faster. I think the "Anakin shows Padme his droid C3P0" scene can be moved to make Padme come off better there too. There are a lot of opportunities left.
-Interesting opinion on the Japor snippet scene, but I think some dialogue is needed to establish just what it is Anakin's giving to Padme.
-Yes, Anakin going to say goodbye to Padme only to meet Amidala MUST go.
-The rest of your editing suggestions on Coruscant I disagree with, as I think they are fine as they are in the movie.
-Something must be done about 3P0, that's for sure.
I think ALL the tone poems could actually play a role in making this work -- using Maul's to beef his character up before his big battle, using Shmi's to beef up the underwhelming good-bye scene; the new, quieter and more powerful Anakin will allow this stuff to work.
Qui-Gon's will work because of his voiceover nature at that point. The rest, not so much. And I thought Anakin's goodbye to his mother was excellent.
"Gunray. Carl Gunray. At your service. You killed my brother. Prepare to die."
Nice! Anyway, I hope my criticism has been constructive, and I of course look forward to further discussion on this matter.