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Post #158199

Author
MTHaslett
Parent topic
Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side (the TM edit) (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/158199/action/topic#158199
Date created
26-Nov-2005, 5:26 PM
So here comes another mammoth post -- but hey, it's Thanksgiving weekend and I don't watch football.

InfoDroid: "My fear is that if not handled right, it could reduce Sidious' character to just another Sith apprentice, instead of the Ulitimate Evil that he is. "

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Understood -- this cannot be allowed, of course. The thing is the role of Palpatine will prevent this-- because his identity as Sidious' alter-ego becomes much more shocking when you are left feeling Palpatine's impact in Episode I without a hint of his other role. The stuff he says about the bureaucracy sets the fertile ground for Sidious' Episode II mischief. What seems like a simple battle in Episode I becomes the groundwork for doom in Episode II-- that's the way it was always supposed to work, but we all saw this coming a mile away because Sidious was standing front row center twisting his moustache the whole time.

Remember, without Sidious, the slow pan to Palpatine at Qui Gon's funeral becomes more meaningful and subtle. I think this is the route things would have gone if Episode I were made before ANH.

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InfoDroid: "And although you tried to avoid them, there ARE repercussions that extend into the editing of Episode II. For instance, the lack of Sidious in Episode I WOULD make Dooku's reveal to Obi-Wan in Episode II much more interesting when we find out the Trade Federation had been manipulated the entire time by this mysterious Dark Lord named "Darth Sidious". This could be the big 2nd-act reveal, like ESB."

***

What a great point-- I hadn't even seen it that way, but there you go. I think the "Sypho-Dias" change to "Sidious" also becomes a major no-brainer and the answer to the problems a lot of people have with that subplot.

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InfoDroid: "Sounds good! Let's hear 'em! "

***

In a nutshell, take advantage of Gunray's design and body language with subtitled dialogue that makes him eager to fight the Jedi, eager to invade Naboo, boldly stating his intentions and making command decisions at every opportunity. For example, when he's told that Jedi have come as ambassadors, let him comment something like "Hmm. It's been a while since I killed a Jedi." When the Jedi are rushing toward his command center in the opening sequence, let it be his underling who wants to close the blast shield while Gunray seems unconcerned. Let his attitude be more like, "They're still coming! This will be a battle! Let them in!" When he communicates with Amidala and she says "You won't be so happy when you hear what I have to say..." let him answer more to this effect: "I've decided there's no time left to wait. We are invading and I will soon taste your blood." Cut out all the pussy-footing and get to the attack. He sweeps in and conquers. He threatens and we believe him.

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InfoDroid: "This is where I kind of say, "Um... I don't know." Mainly because you're elevating Gunray's status as a worthy villain, with scenes available in Episodes II and III, only to kill him off in Episode I? He needs to escape at the end, like Darth Vader in ANH. I mean, sure it would look good on Anakin's resume', but how do you deal with the whole arena battle in Episode II? It's Nute's brother Carl Gunray, thirsty for revenge against the kid who killed his brother (because it wouldn't have been Padme who took Nute down, it would now be Anakin). ."

***
I hadn't looked at it that way-- but I think those later Episode scenes will work as you suggest. To cover his death on the droid ship, you came up with two options I'd thought of too. I lean toward having, as you put it, "Carl Gunray" in the sequels because it makes him more interesting -- in fact his cowardly manner could be left in tact in the sequels-- to differentiate Carl from Nute.

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Good stuff, MTH. Good, good stuff. BUT, you haven't yet addressed what I think are the biggest detriments to the film, which are: Jar-Jar, The Padme=Handmaiden=Queen fiasco, Boss Nass, and the Gungan/Droid Battle. I'd definitely love to hear your thoughts on improving these elements as well.

***

THANKS! Glad it doesn't sound like a brain-fart to you, at least.
As to Jar-Jar, Padme/Handmaiden, Boss Nass, and the Gungan battle-- I have a lot of problems with that stuff as well. I believe MagFan helped those issues tremendously, however, and I would simply take the ball further down the field starting from where he left off. This amounts to a long list of additional cuts, screen-flips, and out-right omissions. The raised tension of having Gunray in charge and kicking ass means one big thing: send Darth Maul after Padme a lot sooner. Have him reach Tatooine before the sand storm. Keep the tension up and the plot clear. That will help a lot.

One of my biggest problems is with Captain Tanaka. I think that guy's a douche and his costume is the silliest of the entire Saga-- worse than Jar Jar's. Editing the whole escape to Tatooine so that it emphasizes the tension better would mean cutting tons of material out of there-- like the "His number is artoo-deetoo"/"I do not agree with the Jedi on this" scene. His other scenes can be trimmed within an inch of their life too-- especially with Maul on Tatooine raising the tension and making Qui-Gon's need to win the pod-race more urgent.

Boss Nass needs to be reduced more too-- but since I'm changing the shape of the climax, we don't need to hear all of Amidala's plan before it happens-- and that's one more Nass scene we can omit. And with the new emphasis on Anakin's role in the climax, I think we can cut ALL of Jar Jar's antics on the battle-field and it will help things. The reason MagFan didn't cut more, I am convinced, is that without Jar-Jar's "heroism", the climax is truly awful with Padme bumbling along to capture Gunray and Anakin bumbling along to destroy the droid ship. These two plans can be severely changed: have Padme get caught trying to catch Gunray-- truly failing because Gunray's on the droid ship. Have Anakin feel Qui Gon's death and destroy the droid ship and Gunray and win the battle single-handed. Suddenly all the emphasis is where it should be: on Anakin. And all the Jar Jar stuff is totally unnecessary. With the Anakin story actually providing dramatic force-- that Jar Jar stuff can finally go.

The Handmaiden stuff is still necessary, but can be dramatically reduced with a couple clever edits-- one, her "space is cold" scene with Anakin can be played without dialogue and actually have dramatic power. Two: the scene where Anakin goes to say goodbye to her and meets Amidala changing can be cut completely. The whole Coruscant sequence needs to be reduced by at least 1/3-- put all the Palpatine/Senate stuff into one continuous sequence (cut the actual Senate meeting down by half-- it's easy) and all the Jedi/Anakin stuff into a second sequence-- then end it with Amidala's decision to leave and suddenly the scenes can each be dramatically reduced. (With some clever re-ordering) they flow better this way and we get off that stinking city-planet and back to the battle a lot faster. I think the "Anakin shows Padme his droid C3P0" scene can be moved to make Padme come off better there too. There are a lot of opportunities left.

Streamlining everything around Qui-Gon and Anakin is the answer to saving this movie, imho. That occurs by beefing up the Trade Federation and letting Anakin defeat them with Qui-Gon's help. I think ALL the tone poems could actually play a role in making this work -- using Maul's to beef his character up before his big battle, using Shmi's to beef up the underwhelming good-bye scene; the new, quieter and more powerful Anakin will allow this stuff to work.

As long as someone else does the work for me-- }:-(