Quick fix…?
"She was quick to learn in our training. But Leia felt she could better serve the galaxy through diplomacy, as our mother once did.
Our father’s past troubled Leia too, but she knew that choosing to love would always overpower any darkness.
A thousand generations live in you now. We’ll always be with you, but this is your fight."
Just because someone is “troubled” by something doesn’t necessarily mean that they fear it. I think we have to use analogous language to make the connection clear. And honestly, the first sentence in v4 always felt like blatant fan-service to me. The fact that the sentence can stand on its own without “as our mother once did” makes me feel icky about it. Why does Rey need to know this shoe-horned comment about Padme to understand why Leia left the Jedi Order? It’s completely useless information to her. Thus why I feel both of her parents need to be the reason behind Leia leaving the Jedi, not just inspiration.
“But Leia feared giving in to hatred like our father, choosing instead to follow our mother’s path” cannot function without understanding those two characters and their journeys. Which is bad for casual fans, but honestly those aren’t the people who are gonna be critiquing character motivations at this capacity, anyways. And if they are, their arguments are moot because they should have an understanding of the whole Skywalker Saga, first.