“Have you considered just before the duel begins, cutting to Padme’s lifeless body on the sand (with a little sombre music) and then cutting back to Anakin (perhaps with a close-up on his face so everyone knows what he is thinking) who then rushes in?”
I actually hadn’t thought of that. However, while that would probably work in many editing styles, I don’t think this solution would work in my cut. This might not make sense until you see the film; I just have a different technique and that’s a more modern device.
“why does it make any more logical sense that Anakin would suspect that Dooku would want, specifically, to kill Padme after her fall, than the possibility of him rushing Dooku in the duel (unless you have completely irradicated his earlier impetuousness)?”
The whole problem with Anakin’s run seems to be that even in the original cut (when he was a very impetuous character), the wild run at Dooku seemed stupid. Now in this cut, when Anakin is more removed, daring at times, and calculating (like Vader), it seems out of character unless he’s motivated like the other times when he lets emotion guide him (the Padme scenes, the garage scene, the scene with his mother, etc.). So the big puzzle here is to make it clear to the audience why Anakin runs at Dooku.
“One more change that is small, but related is that when Padme falls out of the ship they describe her fall with two shots in the sand: FIRST, she tumbles down the sand dune toward camera and rolls out of frame, screen left. SECOND, she rolls to a stop, on her back facing camera in close-up. I suggest cutting the second shot. It feels fake because the framing is too perfect and she doesn't look like she just fell out of an airplane. If you let her roll out of frame and don't tell us where she stops before cutting back to Anakin's reaction, I think it will seem more convincing that she may be hurt/dead.”
Right on. The second shot will be removed, also so that I can utilize it when she gets up after Dooku escapes.
“ANAKIN (V.O.): I'm not afraid to die... but I can never lose you again.”
Beautiful line, MTH. That will certainly come as a surprise to the audience. Now, the trick becomes fitting it in with the finale music while making it seem natural. Speaking of the finale music, I mentioned a long time ago that I had a surprise for the ending music. And this surprise is…taking the main love theme and instead of using the bridge that goes with it, using the “B” section of the love theme in its place. It’s kind of hard to explain, but this bridge is all strings and might lend itself to dialogue more than the original f. horn bridge.
“Regarding Watto: I think Anakin should have been a bit more agressive in finding Shmi. I know you are looking at that by having Anakin threaten Watto. My approach would be a little different from what you guys suggest. I'd cut all the chit chat and the bit about Anakin fixing the power droid. It was filmed to convince Watto that it was really Anakin. Who cares. Who would be asking about Shmi anyway? So instead of Anakin threatening to cut Watto's wings off, he uses a Jedi mind trick on Watto and it works. I know that Watto says that mind tricks don't work on Toydarians. This is why I think it would be cool to see here. We all remember the scene from TPM. All of a sudden Anakin does it on Watto! We realise this guy is so strong in the Force that he can influence minds that usually aren't affected by the Jedi mind trick. And it would make a nice payoff for having the Qui-gon/Watto scene in TPM in the first place.”
Wow- another good suggestion. That would be really nice and it would make the viewer think, which is what we want. Mind tricks don’t work on Watto- and Anakin pulled it off. “You will tell me where Shmi is.” That would be nice. After all, why wouldn’t Anakin try it? I’ll try it both your way and the other way and see which one I like the best.
“What if you cut out every single reference to Sidious?
Consider -- this simplifies the apparent story and adds a layer of subtext. The threat posed by the Trade Federation goes up a notch because suddenly they aren't so frickin incompetent and servile-- they're the top of the food chain as far as we know. Then Nute Gunray becomes a memorable and cool character. His henchmen is Darth Maul -- quite like Tarkin and Vader in ANH. And just like ANH, we aren't told that this "Darth" character is the servent of Sidious. It's implied and played by the rules-- but never stated.
This empowers both Gunray and Maul -- and saves the big Sidious reveal for Episode II!”
Oh, boy. That isn’t what I wanted to hear
Because I thought Sidious was a high point of Episode I. Despite this, there are definite advantages to this option. The biggest would be that the Nemoidians would be elevated from the “lackey” status, which has never happened in an edit before. Even in “Balance of the Force”, the Nemoidians are seen as been subservient. Why? Because Sidious was still telling them what to do every other scene. Maybe we could still have Sidious in Episode I, but to a much lesser extent? Relegating him to one or two scenes? I’ll have to think about this one, but the good news is that I think I’m pretty much going to do the same thing with the scene in Ep. II either way, so that I don’t have to make a decision right away. I guess the question would be…do you use the Emperor’s theme all the way through, or the original music (which I actually really liked for this scene)? Well…I think I’ll use the original music. The Emperor’s theme will be stated quite a few times in my Ep. III (particularly a big, loud rendition when Palpatine raises his arms in the Senate after announcing the Empire) “Shamless personal ad: If anyone wants to respond to my Maul=Grievous plans in Rebel Scumb's "My Phantom Edit" thread, please do as so far I've recieved very little feedback.”
I think those are great ideas. When I get to Episode III, I’ll delve into them more thoroughly.
“About an earlier post as to why Dooku would want to kill Padme, I think it was revealed in an early draft of ep III that Dooku ordered the tusken raiders to kidnap and torture Anakin's mother. I think it's interesting to consider that possibility and how that would have added to Dooku's character.”
That is interesting. The problem would be incorporating it. I was kind of going with the “Palpatine was behind everything” scenario, but do you have an idea to incorporate this dramatically? If so, I’d like to hear it.
“He is so influenced by his emotions (so quick to anger) that this acts as a distraction from his training and Dooku uses this fact and, in effect, just whips the football away and sends the unfocused Jedi flying. Thereby giving more credence to Obi and his philosophy (and also to the fact that he, ultimately, failed in training Anakin).”
Very true.
“By making that choice of restraint a few minutes earlier and then showing up here and going berzerk-- Anakin's character is suddenly waffling and adrift. There needs to be a straight line that explains why he rushes in here when he was able to rein himself in and leave Padme only a short time earlier.
It might help if Dukoo taunts Anakin into coming. If Dukoo said "I sense that she suffered before she died. I hope that pains you, young Jedi." Then I can see Anakin going off. But to do it in response to Obi Wan's direct order is just whacky.”
YES- THIS is what I need. Not a line from Anakin, but a taunting, provoking comment from Dooku that infuriates Anakin. If anyone knows if a line like this can be found in the LOTR movies (I own the extended trilogy), the old Hammer films, or anywhere else…please let me know. THIS is what would make this scene work. Something along these lines would be ideal. Off the top of my head…
Anakin: So...YOU’RE the one who’s been trying to kill Padme.
Dooku: Trying? She’s practically dead already, boy. (laughs). Just like you and your friend.
Dramatic music and close-up of Anakin. He runs at Dooku.
Anakin: You’re the one who’s been trying to kill Padme all along. That’s the last mistake you’ll ever make, Dooku!
Dooku: Indeed.
In the absence of appropriate Dooku dialogue, this is a good exchange as well.
"I gave you the chance of aiding me... but you have chosen the way of PAIN!"
Excellent! I'll use it in the arena.
Bad news- nobody in the other forums wants to help me restore the fox logo, or get me the HD Blade Runner footage. I even emailed a couple about it very courteously- no response. At this point, it’s kind of expected and I no longer am surprised, but I’m still disappointed because I know that these people have access to these materials that could really help me out. Oh, well.
It is still FASCINATING to me when I watch some of my work on this that involves such seemingly minor changes like flips, color changes, cropping, and a new music cue, and I feel as though I’m watching a different movie. I’m trying to bring the “magic” back to Star Wars. Moments like Yoda’s levitation of the X-wing in TESB just don’t exist in the prequels, so I’m trying to create them. What this has taught me is that these “little” things can almost make or break a movie like this. One continuing problem people have with the PT is that you never feel close to the characters. After thinking about this, I’ve concluded that this could possibly have a lot to do with the actual framing of the shots in the prequels. Very rarely do we get many good close-ups at all; it’s usually from the chest up, with some space above the head as well. In a very real sense, everything feels far away because the actual camera never gets close. Fortunately, the full-screen DVD was released, which enables me to crop so many of these shots and get better detail and facial expressions in particular. We are closer to the characters and everything does not look so terribly phony and symmetrical.
So what am I doing at this point? Organizing myself, really. Backing all of my work up on disc and writing out an organized timetable that will guide me to work at the pace I need to, to get this film out on DVD by May 2006.
More later…I’m hungry
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!