The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant Special Edition (WIP) — Page 3

krlozdac said:

Jar Jar Bricks said:

No problem! Hey krylozdac, would you mind drafting up those same tests with these lines instead? I just want to see how it would sound.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HkIoQzFIqkMwVeJ9Hl-k3Q_zAmiOhREA/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ciu5FBt4cltg0hBY4MVA48r_Y7wVw57y/view?usp=sharing

Oh does sound good! I’m gonna try to send it tonight when I’m free.

Btw, what are you using to train the voice?

I used his scene in ROTJ where he talks to Luke on Endor. I also had his scenes in the Death Star 2’s hangar cleared, but I never ended up using those for fear they’d be too echoey.

One problem I’ve already noticed is that I cut out too much of the “blank” space between Vader’s sentences for the sample I uploaded to clone his voice. This means that the sentences end rather abruptly without the proper pauses. I may remedy this if it becomes too great of an issue. For now, you can remedy it somewhat by applying a reverb effect at the tail end of the audio file in Audacity. Or just apply it to the whole thing in your case since he’d be speaking into his head.

I did apply some, but I guess it’s too subtle. I’ll add more whenever I do the next test!

Okay, I’ve put together all of Ahch-To into one so we can see if the central theme I’m trying to convey is clear enough:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/16wFmlYAhO-2QaMZtzTL72XxxMYKDjmf_/view?usp=sharing

EDIT: I’ve changed out “Because you’re a Palpatine?” for a delivery that is more clearly meant to be a question. It uses the same intonation as Anakin saying “Because of Obi-Wan?” from ROTS. But I might swap this out again as I tinker with things as I feel like it’s not fully there in that delivery.

Man that’s good. It’s exposition heavy, but so is the original. The only place that stood out to me as awkward was the “Because you’re a Palpatine” line, which seems a bit out of nowhere and abrupt. In the wider context, it might work better, being a clear repetition of what Kylo told her.

Right, and Kylo will still say “You… are a rightful Palpatine”, but Luke is obviously going to be missing that distinctive word.

Is it the delivery of the line that’s wonky? I may just go back to the original one I had because although it didn’t have the question angle as apparent it at least fit in well.

That’s really good. Luke’s lines about Leia are flawless. The first dialog has room for improvements though I think.

I think there should be more of a pause between “Because you’re a Palpatine?” and “The Force made us”. Ideally even a reaction shot of Rey that answers the question before Luke continues to try and dissuade her from that notion. Right now it doesn’t really feel natural.

Also, Luke’s second line sounds a little weird to me. The first three or four times I listened to it, the “if” was almost inaudible for some reason.

And I’m not sure whether it works in the first place. It’s not quite clear what “that fate” is that Luke is talking about. I don’t have an idea for a better line though.

And finally, I feel there should also be a pause between that line and “What are you most afraid of?”

I can always go back to “it was fear that kept me here” although I know some people think this is a direct retcon of TLJ. Believe it or not, there can’t be any more of a gap between whatever goes there and his next line: “What are you most afraid of?” This is because he actually finishes the word “here” on screen. What I did in the test is I used the word “near” instead because they both end the same way.

An extended reaction shot for Rey can’t really exist, either, as she says “She never told me” in the middle of it. So if this feels unnatural, then we either have to shorten the line or we have to go back to involving Leia in all this, which I kinda wanted to avoid. A shortened line that could convey the same thing here is “We were made to end him, Rey.” Furthermore, we could also remove “Final lesson” in order to give us some more space to play here.

Ironically, the perfect word to end that sentence rhyming with “here” was right in front of my eyes the whole time.

“Pushing Ben toward that throne was my greatest fear. What are you most afraid of?”

Again, this line helps to rationalize Luke’s decision to isolate himself on Ahch-To. It’s not just about running away from his failure, it’s a calculated decision to prevent further harm to his nephew, the Force itself, and the galaxy at large. Luke once believed that his light’s proximity to those with potential for the dark side might inadvertently push them toward the lost Sith throne. The Jedi code being awful was just another contributing factor for it all, but Luke is finally able to summarize the heart of his previous issue here.

Maybe “Pushing Ben toward that throne” would be cleaner.

Couldn’t you just cut Luke finishing the sentence on camera? Assuming of course that the new line is shorter than the original. That would give you more freedom.

But I see what you mean about not being able to extend the reaction shots.

Maybe the pause before “What are you most afraid of?” would be less necessary if you change the intonation so that the stress is on “you”. Then Luke would talk about HIS fears before asking Rey about HERS.

Okay, I’ve got a new test. Let me know if you think “Final lesson” should be removed in order to make things less congested:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/16wFmlYAhO-2QaMZtzTL72XxxMYKDjmf_/view?usp=sharing

I really do think the concept that Luke was avoiding Ben’s fate needs to stay in some way like this. It explains so many of his vague lines in TLJ: “This is not going to go the way you think” in reference to Rey trying to save Kylo. Why is Luke so certain that Rey’s vision of her redeeming him is wrong? “It didn’t scare me enough then. It does now.” Why exactly does this raw, untamed power make him weary? And later, “I came to face him, Leia. And I can’t save him.” Again, why is Luke so incredibly certain that Kylo is beyond redemption? The only way any of this makes sense is if he saw Ben being on the Sith throne was a certainty on that fateful night. Palpatine doesn’t foresee Vader attacking him because the bond between a father and son is foreign to him. Similarly, he doesn’t expect Ben and Rey to be able to resist the destinies he’s fashioned for them because sharing the same power and having romantic attraction for each other is foreign to him. I think all of this lines up perfectly.

Kexikus said:

Maybe the pause before “What are you most afraid of?” would be less necessary if you change the intonation so that the stress is on “you”. Then Luke would talk about HIS fears before asking Rey about HERS.

This is definitely an option.

I would cut the “final lesson” line, I think it makes less sense in this version and would make the convo flow a little better. And the lines get a little more room to breathe.

“Pushing Ben toward the throne was my greatest fear. What are you most afraid of?”

“Myself.”

"Because you’re a Palpatine? The force made us, Rey, to end him.

Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi. Your destiny…"

I changed “that throne” to “the throne,” sounds a little more natural to me.

Yeah, I’ll definitely remove it, then. I’m impartial to “that” vs “the”, but with “that” we are clearly referring back to Rey’s own statement.

Alrighty, I’ve incorporated everything that was recommended except for “the” throne mostly because I’d like to hear other opinions on the wording there:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZaL9WFfyBjS9Pw4eS3KpO6sptsTRkxou/view?usp=sharing

EDIT: One other thing I’d be interesting in adding is a simple “and” before “some things are stronger than blood” just to recontextualize that from a negative thing he’s talking about to a situation where her blood is powerful, AND she has the spirit to wield it properly. Although I guess it works as-is because we know Anakin’s blood has a lot of darkness in it.

Much better

Good to hear!

I think I’m definitely leaning toward Rey shooting yellow lightning for this edit in particular. Especially since Luke is trying to claim that Rey has the spirit to keep darkness at bay for the most part. That way there is a common thread throughout the movie - Rey does or learns a dark thing involving herself, taking it to mean the worst, only to later learn that it was perhaps not actually as bad as she initially believed it to be.

1. Rey sees herself on the Sith throne, but strong connections through the Force are enough to overcome fate.
2. Rey destroys Chewbacca with her raw power, only to later learn that he’s still alive and her power isn’t necessarily dark, just uncontrolled.
3. Palpatine tells her that he made her to end him, insisting that she harbors hatred for him. But she rejects this idea and kills him as a Jedi, only using the Force for defense, not attack.

Alrighty, this is the longest I’m comfortable with making the Vader duel. Obviously a lot of stuff is still unfinished, but it’s watchable at this point. In the moment, the viewer is meant to believe that Kylo’s greatest fear is not being as strong as Darth Vader, as stated in TFA. But, as we later learn in this edit, Rey is basically the same in terms of raw power as Anakin. So Kylo and “Vader’s” conversation in this scene has a double meaning, in that Vader/Palpatine is claiming they both know Rey is stronger than Kylo, and more worthy of the throne.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PNq604n2sbbK8_y4y0ws2MNVg6AOXffP/view?usp=sharing

I like this creative incorporation of the fan film into Kylo’s vision. I would only suggest to add an extra saber exchange that’s more energetic. As a viewer, that tiny touch of adrenaline and energy gets the engagement which will unravel the dialogue and take home meaning you intend to portray.

I believe the biggest problem we were trying to avoid is that some of the choreography looks fan-made. We also don’t want this to get too long or it will be too obvious that this wasnt constructed for a movie.

It’s possible there’s too much dialogue at the moment, so the ideal solution would actually be to just cut out the new exchange I made. This way the ratio of dialgue to action is more in line.

I just checked, and there is about 20 seconds of them fighting I could potentially add back in. Most of it is pretty basic parrying and swinging, though. I could give it a try, but I’d like to hear some other people’s thoughts, too. Is it worth adding in even more runtime to what I already added, or should some of that dialogue be removed in favor of some action?

I can only speak for myself. That’s why just another swing and parrying or two, because the footage at present is just a couple of slowish swings and then a saber lock and he does that saber off trick. I think it adds a little icing on the cake.

I think the majority of the 20 seconds would have to be included due to continuity, so it wouldn’t be just a couple extra swings. I CAN remove the extra shaky cam shot, lowering it down to about 16 seconds. We definitely don’t want that in this movie because that’s not JJ’s style. There is a tiny bit of shaky cam in one of the shots that would need to stay, but it’s not that noticeable. And plus I believe some people on the forum know how to stabilize those a bit.

EDIT: It’s actually only 13 seconds extra, so I think I’m willing to do this.