Agreed on both fronts. Here is another test:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HnI8y_Diz62HWHn6T7p12_c226L4Y3Z8/view?usp=sharing
But keep in mind I’m (still) yet to add back in the part of him wandering through the snow and hearing a whisper that draws him deeper into the forest. Once that’s in I think most of the pacing issues will be gone. I’m just waiting to add that back in until we’re satisfied with the dialogue.
I really dig this idea.
I think the line “you were never real” comes in a little too soon. I think it shouldn’t start until we see the the back of Kylo Ren. Otherwise it seems like he notices too soon. The previous iterations of the lines felt more straightforward.
I think it would be cool for Vader to say something like “You’re unworthy of the dark side.” Then Kylo stabs him and retorts “I’m the master of the Knights of Ren.” I think this would segue nicely to the next scene.