Ah, OK. I think that’s just fine. I wouldn’t replace ‘he wanted her alive’, since he did, and evidently either the Ochi thing was going to work out for him or the Force Awakening would expose her. That’s plenty - Ochi can just be a hunter as he currently is, who tried but failed to find Rey (and had a key to Palpatine). I wouldn’t worry about the ship also being seen in TFA - it’s so brief, it barely matters, and can be handwaved away as another ship so easily if people care.

Oh and also, what did you think of this little change:

“What are you most afraid of?”
“Myself…”
“Because you’re a Palpatine? His power runs in my bloodline too.”
“Final lesson. Rey… Some things are stronger than blood. Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi. Your destiny, if you don’t face Palpatine, will mean the end of the Jedi. And the war will be lost. There’s something my sister would want you to have.”

I think that just fits perfectly with what surrounds it, enhances Kylo’s relevance (which also works with your two-hosts-must-fight intent), and ties into both Leia’s rejection and Palpatine’s later recalling that the throne is “in her blood”.