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Post #1573643

Author
hinventon
Parent topic
The Starlight Project Addendum: The Rise of Skywalker (Freeform Brainstorming Session)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1573643/action/topic#1573643
Date created
13-Jan-2024, 6:23 PM

What you have is good, I’m mostly just focusing on how the lines flow/sound themselves. Maybe something like:

“You were right. Your parents were nobody. But they had no part in your conception.”

“Don’t!”

“You’re so much like my grandfather…"

“I don’t want this!”

“…destined to rule.”

You’re right, the hangar paragraph can be reverted. I think “You were his chosen heir…” sounds a little bit better, though.