The Starlight Project Addendum: The Rise of Skywalker (Freeform Brainstorming Session) — Page 16

Good point about the reaction to the line about her parents. For the Vader line, I never read it as Rey knowing this about Anakin. Kylo is revealing that Anakin was created the same way, drawing a similarity between the two. To Rey, this means that Kylo is implying Rey and Vader have the same nature. I mostly just think the lines flow better when they’re lighter and conveying less info per line, so I split them back up. For the hangar paragraph, I imagined neither of them knows about the possession thing, and believes that Palpatine is simply looking for an heir to carry on his name and legacy as a sith. I think is interesting for Rey because in this movie she’s faced with the burden of carrying on the legacy of the Skywalkers/Jedi, but is now told she’s destined for the opposite.

Yeah, I don’t disagree that she does need to realize she’s a potential heir to the Sith. The problem is the way it’s currently phrased. “Like him, you were chosen to be the heir to the Sith. You… are a rightful Palpatine.” With the sentences leading into each other like that, it’s implying that being heir to the Sith makes you a rightful Palpatine. We need to avoid this, as the Sith have existed for thousands of years and Palps is simply one in a long line of them. That’s why I’d prefer to stick to the idea that she’s Palpatine’s heir, which means she would inherit the Sith legacy that comes with that.

I think we need to list the pros and cons for each location of the Vader reference. Specifically, I’d like to know the cons of what I currently have for it so I understand your perspective a bit better on what we’re missing.

What you have is good, I’m mostly just focusing on how the lines flow/sound themselves. Maybe something like:

“You were right. Your parents were nobody. But they had no part in your conception.”

“Don’t!”

“You’re so much like my grandfather…"

“I don’t want this!”

“…destined to rule.”

You’re right, the hangar paragraph can be reverted. I think “You were his chosen heir…” sounds a little bit better, though.

I wonder if “no choice” might be better than “no part” only because it’s currently got a tiny bit of implication that they adopted her. This way we know her mother gave birth to her. Plus we open the door for her to still be genetically related to her mother, as assumably Anakin is related to Shmi by genetics as well. It would just be Rey’s father who would be the odd guy out. Another added benefit is that it implies the same thing as them never wanting her without directly saying it.

EDIT: Eh, I’ll probably just stick with “no part” only because any confusion would be cleared up later and it’s best to start with a significant level of intrigue.

Just so you know, I never intended for the dyad to be fully removed from the film. I just don’t think it’s worth placing a word to the concept in this moment so we can define it better. It’s incredibly vague what exactly it is in the movie because he’s spending half the time giving Rey a vocab lesson. Palpatine can put a proper name to it later on and give us even more added context - that’s something he’s known to do because of his familiarity with the intricacies of the Force.

Him wanting them to fight each other is the only way to explain why he is so incredibly indecisive about what he really wants in this movie. The real problem is Kylo’s line earlier: “Palpatine wants you dead”. Which is why I suggested replacing that with “Palpatine wants me to kill you”. Then, we learn the other half of that truth in this scene, that Palpatine would also be fine with Rey killing Kylo. So when he later says, “I never wanted you dead, I wanted you here, with me” that’s true, because he always either wanted Rey alive and Kylo dead, or Kylo alive and Rey dead.

I don’t oppose the rewrite about the forest at all.

“Fight” would also work, but I’m trying to line up with the scene Ascendant shifted to before they go to Endor (after the big reveal):

“I sense the Jedi apprentice still lives”

“I know where she’s going. She’ll never become a Jedi.”

“Make sure of it. Kill her.”

So in the reveal scene Kylo is saying it like it really is, but Palpatine is still trying to act like he’s got his bets placed on Kylo - most likely to stroke his ego. So the question is, which way would he word it to Rey at the beginning? Does he want to unsettle her, or does he want to be honest?

As for the whole “imbued in his power” stuff, yeah, I just don’t think it’s necessary. Let’s say they’re imbued with the energy of the Force itself. Then, we can allow for both interpretations - that the Force made them to destroy Palpatine, or Palpatine wanted them made imbued with all the power of the Force so they could withstand his Sith spirit upon them killing him. All we need to do is simply steer clear of any language suggesting pure darkness. We upset one side of the crowd if we directly confirm one or the other. Plenty of people want Anakin to be the chosen one made to bring balance, and nothing more than that. And plenty of other people think he did a terrible job as the chosen one, and think it deserves some sort of dark explanation. We can satisfy both audiences here, I think.

There is one specific line thet does not quite sit right with me: "just as he’d intended.”

This kinda sounds like Palps orchestrated the specific circumstances of her reveal. But to do that, he would have had to already known where Rey is… Making the reveal not necessary.

I think it would be better to have something here that conveys Palps has been waiting for this moment.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

I feel like there’s a little bit of passive aggressiveness in your response? Did I say something wrong? I mean, sure, maybe I was mistaken that some of that isn’t too ambitious, but that’s because you never made it clear how exactly you’d go about these changes until now. Your initial post didn’t have specifics. Because I genuinely think we are in agreement here, not disagreement. We just have different chosen methods to achieve the same results.

Absolutely not. It was written sincerely for the sake of honest discussion. No offense was intended, nor taken. My last remark was a little self-deprecating, but still written sincerely. That is, you have a fascinating vision for TRoS, but it is not one we share. Thus, I either need to make my own fanedit or find someone who does share my vision. Apologies if I came off as passive aggressive.

EddieDean said:

I tried to keep that a bit more ambiguous- I’m trying to convey that Palpatine wanted conflict to lead her down the dark path, not specifically the events of starkiller.

This totally might be a “me” thing, but the line currently reads as “Palps does not know where she is in the galaxy and at that moment she revealed her location” to me. Which is why the “intended” part kinda does not make sense.

GLogus, I wish you the best as well.

I think the problem is that we’re using the word “revealed”. I think the word “exposed” carries an implication that it was more about her tapping into the dark side than her exact location.

Here’s what I’m thinking for some of Kylo’s lines:

“You were right. Your parents were nobody. No body/Nobody had a part in your conception.”

Yes, “nobody” and “no body” sound the same when spoken aloud, but maybe that’s the point. It allows the audience to decide which origin for Rey they want to go with. “Nobody” would mean that Palpatine is lying by saying they are rightfully his, as the Force (not a person) alone made them. “No body” would mean that Palpatine used the Force to create her, and no actual body was involved in that process. I think we’re really onto something here by making both of these interpretations valid for people to hold coming out of the movie. This is the kind of actual, thought-provoking process that is the trademark of an actually good film.

“When we first fought, in the forest, you reached out for the darkness inside you. You exposed yourself to Palpatine, and set yourself on the path toward your destiny… just as he’d intended.”

I just realized it’s actually a triple entendre. The meaning of her parents being nobody in status also applies.

EDIT: Here is the full thing as it stands

“Palpatine wants me to fight you.”

“Serving another master?”

“No. I have other plans…”

—

“I pushed you in the desert because I needed to see it… I needed you to see it… who you are. The dark side is your birthright. Rey…”

“You’re lying.”

“You were right. Your parents were nobody. Nobody even conceived you in your mother.”

“Don’t!”

“You’re so much like my grandfather. So like Darth Vader…”

“I don’t want this!”

“…destined for power.”

“No!”

“You’ve seen it, haven’t you?”

(Rey sees the vision of herself on the Sith throne)

“Luke saw the same fate in me. We can only make our own together.”

“Stop talking.”

“I’m the only one who truly knows you.”

(Cutaway to heroes capture)

“When we first fought, in the forest, you reached out for the darkness inside you. You exposed yourself to Palpatine, and set yourself on the path toward your destiny… just as he’d intended…”

(Visions of Rey beating Kylo on Starkiller, falling into the dark cave, etc.)

“No!”

(A pedestal shatters and the mask of Vader falls to the ground)

“So that’s where you are.”

“Our paths have always been intertwined."

“No…”

"I’ll come tell you why.”

—

“Rey, I know the rest of our story.”

“Tell me.”

"Palpatine influenced the Force itself into creating life. First my grandfather, and then you. Both were once his chosen heir. You… are a rightful Palpatine.”

"Now, the Emperor wants us to fight each other, so his most worthy heir can claim the throne. But he hasn’t realized the strength of our connection, Rey… a bond, not of blood, but of raw power in the Force. We can end him and the Sith, and create a new order, together…”

—
“What are you most afraid of?”

“Myself…”

“Because you’re a Palpatine? The Force made us, to destroy him.”

“Final lesson. Rey… Some things are stronger than blood. Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi. Your destiny, if you don’t face Palpatine, it will mean the end of the Jedi. And the war will be lost. There’s something my sister would want you to have.”

—

“Leia’s saber.”

“She was quick to learn in our training. But Leia knew that a light as powerful as her own would cast a terrible shadow within her. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day it would be picked up again by someone with the spirit to face that darkness.”

—

“Long have I waited… I never wanted you dead. I wanted you here, Empress Palpatine. You will take the throne. It is your birthright to rule here. It is in your blood.” (We’d remove “our blood” because they don’t share the same blood. Fortunately, that would be an easy cut because the camera switches perspective only for when he says that.)

“I haven’t come to lead the Sith. I’ve come to end them.”

“As a Jedi?”

“Yes.”

“No. Your hatred, your anger. You want to kill me. That is what I want. Kill me, and my spirit will pass into you, as all the Sith live in me. You will be Empress. We will be one.”

“All you want is for me to hate but I won’t. Not even you.”

“Weak. Your master, Luke Skywalker, was saved by his father. The only family you have here… is me.” (Everything after this point would be unaltered Ascendant v4).

The title/designation for this edit should probably be Nobody Rey Palpatine.

I like all of that! The last idea still needs some work, but the sum of it will be that she doesn’t see the point in risking training herself up all the way to a Jedi because then there’s always the chance of falling to the dark side. As a normal person, she doesn’t necessarily have that risk. We just need to figure out how to translate this into a concise statement.

“She was quick to learn in our training. But Leia was vigilant of the inner darkness she could awaken, and chose to serve the people of the galaxy instead. She surrendered her saber to me, and said it would be picked up again by someone with the spirit to face that darkness.”

The implication here is that Leia chose to become a Jedi sentinel. This would finally explain why the hell Rey has a yellow lightsaber at the end of the movie: she’s literally continuing Leia’s Jedi path exactly where it left off as a Jedi sentinel herself. I’d be down to literally state that Leia chose to become a Jedi sentinel, but that risks alienating people who don’t know exactly what that entails. It might also conflict with canon content which states that Leia did give up her Jedi path entirely.

I made a slight modification to your other line:

“Luke saw the same fate in me. But only together can we resist it.”

EDIT: Here’s how that more canon-breaking/casual alienating one might sound - "She was quick to learn in our training. But Leia was vigilant of the inner darkness she could awaken, and chose to serve the people as a Jedi Sentinel. She surrendered her saber to me, and said it would be picked up again by someone with the spirit to face that darkness.”

The problem is that “power” doesn’t necessarily mean darkness in the context of Star Wars, which is what we’re trying to get at here. I also don’t think it’s worth stating Rey’s future role as a sentinel unless it was somehow what Leia aspired to be, thus she’s continuing Leia’s own path in her stead. So…

"She was quick to learn in our training. But Leia was vigilant of her potential darkness, choosing instead to serve the people, as our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me, and said it would be picked up again by someone with a spirit to ward off the dark.”

Again, my only worry is the scene between Kylo and Palps we positioned before Endor wherein Palpatine is just straight up telling him to kill her again. Plus, I really like the idea that Palpatine is equally fine with either Kylo or Rey to take the throne. It makes what he says to Kylo in the intro genuine. It also allows whatever happens between Rey and Kylo to still be a part of his plan. We mention the fact they share the same fate earlier, we don’t want to take Kylo entirely off the table immediately after saying that.

If you think back to TLJ, Snoke isn’t giving Rey a fair chance whatsoever. He’s literally holding her in place and forcing Kylo to kill her. I just have a hard time buying that was something Palpatine intended to be a “challenge” for Rey to overcome and become more powerful. It’s only because of Kylo’s interest in her that she lives. They don’t conflict with each other, they fight as one. This is clearly not what Palpatine would want.