Right, so the reason I swapped the Vader reference back to where it was is due to Burbin’s realization that Rey shouldn’t even be aware of Anakin’s whole fatherless birth thing, so her response to his statement is questionable at best. That’s why she just needs to be denying her similarity to Vader, not that specific tidbit about him.

A similar thing is happening after he describes her parents in your draft, where her reaction isn’t matching what he’s describing. She’s already come to terms with the fact that they’re nobody junk traders, that was the point of TLJ. So him bringing up an undeniable fact like that again really shouldn’t be getting under her skin. He needs to be saying something in that moment which Rey would initially perceive as a lie, and rightfully so due to how outrageous it seems.

I also think it’s important to keep the concepts of heir to the Sith and heir to Palpatine distinct. After all, we don’t know Palpatine is all the Sith at this moment yet. We’re trying to emphasize a pseudo-familial relationship here to play off of her parents not caring about her, and not an organizational legacy which she shouldn’t care about.

I do like a couple other small changes you made though so I’ll nab those.