"She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils."
"A chat with you and death loses its sting."
"As capacious as an elephants scrotum, and about as difficult to get your hands on."
"Don't call me 'aunt'! For aunts are relatives & relatives are evidence of sex! And sex is hardly a fitting subject for the dinner table!"
"the devil farts in my face once more."
"Oh, God! God! What on earth was I drinking last night? My head feels like there's a Frenchman living in it!"#
You need to go out and buy/borrow/steal/download them RIGHT NOW!!!