I’ve just watched this, and congratulations you’ve improved it no end!
I’ve got lots of positive things I could say but I feel at this stage you’re still looking for feedback to hone and improve it. You could leave it as it is and the series would have benefitted greatly from your edit but I did spot some small things that could make it even better (in my humble opinion).
There were two minor technical glitches. One, when the Lucasfilm logo fades out at the start, it left artifacts on the screen. The second was when Sabine points her gun at the rock critter and says “that tricks over” there is a momentary glitch.
There are several more subjective ways I feel the edit could be improved, and please feel free to ignore these if you disagree. Firstly, my suggestion would be to remove the ‘traffic cop’ sequence, when the two spaceships accost Sabine on the highway. It slows things down, its extraneous to the plot, and it mentions “missing the ceremony” - a ceremony which has already been cut from this edit. But most importantly it rings the bulls**t detector, as the ship pulls away from the pursuit for no reason literally within just a mile from Sabines pad. If they genuinely wanted to confront Sabine and escort her to the city they could have flown just one mile further to her destination and done so. It’s a lame moment and could very easily be removed (you can still have Sabine bombing it down the highway listening to her rebellious rawk muzak, just cut to her arriving home before the cops show up).
“Do it!.. for Ezra” my suggestion would be to keep that line in, spoken by Baylan to Sabine. It’s a cool callback to Palpatine and Anakin in Revenge Of The Sith (which foreshadows Anakins reappearance in the flashback). You also hear it whispered again later when Ahsoka investigates the scene so it really needs to be there.
Later when the troopers surround Sabine and Ezra on Peridea, maybe cut Shin ordering “fire!” as again its a lame unrealistic moment with too much time left hanging in the air before the order and any action being taken. Feels too contrived, you can improve this.
My final suggestion would be to keep Sabine’s force push to help Ezra make his big leap. Seeing as you’ve kept in her failed attempts to move the mug, this is important to close and complete her arc. She does have the force but her ability to use it has to mean something to her, to help someone she loves. That’s Sabine’s arc and again imho needs to be there.
I hope these don’t come across as negative criticisms - because they are intended as constructive feedback. You’ve done a fantastic job with making Ahsoka into a movie length format, and a massive well done and thank you are in order!
Absolutely. Feedback and discussion is what I’m looking for.
Regarding the technical glitches. I’ve gone back to my FCP project, looked at the original rendered file and the downloaded gdrive file and can’t see the glitch with the Lucasfilm logo. It fades to black as far as I can see.
The “rock critter” glitch I’ve found and fixed. That was well spotted! It was a single frame the needed taking out.
The Sabine speeder sequence is a tricky one. Cutting it was already suggested in this thread, but the bottom line is that I love that sequence (I don’t know why). As far as the opening of the movie is concerned we get an action sequence to introduce our villains, an action sequence to introduce Ahsoka and then an action sequence to introduce Sabine. It just feels well balanced given that Sabine and Ahsoka are essentially co-leads. It also lets us know a bit about her rebellious personality and provides the viewer with an insight into why her jedi training failed. We get told that she’s difficult in the Ahsoka/Hera scene, but I like to see, rather than be told. I tried the edit without that scene and it just seemed like an underwhelming introduction.
Regarding the ceremony reference. Even if I cut this scene the ceremony still gets mentioned by Azadi on the platform.
Good point about the “do it”. I’ve put that back in.
I’ve removed Shin’s “fire”. I played around with that scene for quite a while and removed Ezra’s “prisoners” chat. No idea why I didn’t remove the “fire” too… so much better without!
Sabine’s force push is another tricky one. I’m a bit more neutral on this one. The scene itself plays out much better with Sabine’s force push because it’s technically difficult to edit it out. If she had been force sensitive then I would have definitely left it in. However, she’s more “force attuned” so that level of force ability just seems too much for her. Her arc does get closed when she pulls the lightsaber to kill the night death trooper thing. I’m definitely open to putting it back in, I guess I’ll see if anyone else has got an opinion on it.
Thanks again for the detailed feedback. Its great to get it and your points were fantastic.