I mean, if you’re trying to stick to as close to canon as possible, then I definitely think the angle you’re going for would be great. I think if you’re going with that approach, I would play around with the trying stick the dialogue as close to the original as possible, and save the “reveal” of her being sold/adopted by Palpatine until the actual hangar scene.

For a “Rey killed her parents” angle, I wouldn’t worry about canon and just make Ochi’s ship and her parents ship 2 different ships.