Well well well… I have mastered the father of 3 life. Baby is now 3 months old and sleeping great, and so am I! I’ve missed working on my edits. I’ve done sporadic editing on random scenes in Book 6 here and there, but nothing substantial on getting it all together. Time off always helps bring fresh perspective too. Since I still have a lot of work on the next film, I wanted to go back and drop the final releases of some of the previous films that didn’t have too much left to do, as well as start to respond to some of Kypo’s incredible reviews that have been posted.
Starting with Book 1:
There weren’t too many fixes/updates to make on this one that I’m tracking.
- Make a snappier cut from Blue Guy Bounty “warm or cold” line to the ship flying overhead cantina. Thanks, EddieDean for this suggestion.
- Move Kuiil rebuilding the IG-11 scene between Mando getting his new armor and going back to see Greef. Thanks, Arabian for this suggestion. It works well here I think for the reasons you mentioned, and also because as we see the cuirass being forged, I now fade that shot into the destruction at the mercenary camp which fits great thematically.
- Added in Greef’s surviving blaster shot scene after Din enters hyperspace with Grogu. This was something I overlooked in the last version, just forgot to include it and it felt weird later on in the series when we suddenly see Greef is alive.
- Change the ending to conclude at the Grogu ball–>hyperspace, saving the village entrance for Book 2.
- The soundtrack when Din walks around Nevarro and finds Grogu’s carrier in the trash wasn’t working to convey what I intended. I was hoping it would point to Din’s emptiness in his absence from Grogu, but it didn’t seem to communicate that. It was too sweet sounding for the moment, especially coming right after the mess Din just goes through on the prisoner job. Here is a new soundtrack test, think it works better? https://youtu.be/eJOmByfJcpQ
And then I have one more test scene below in response to one of Kypo’s comments.
Hey! I want to introduce myself and share some of my feedback. I have written multiple screenplays, and I’ve worked on small productions for stunt acting. I am certainly no expert so take all of my feedback for what it is- my enthusiastic SUGGESTIONS to help you improve your awesome project. All of my notes come from a fellow big Star Wars fan who loves and appreciates your edits!!
I have never checked out your edits as I am a big fan of S1 and S2 of Mandalorian and felt that I personally do not NEED a shorter edit. Then Boba Fett came out. Then S3. Then Kenobi (thanks PixelJoker!). This led me to your edits, and the way you assembled the story requires that I watch ALL of them. So I will watch all of them and give my input as a fellow film enthusiast. Not all of my notes will be actionable, but sharing is the least I can do!
Thanks again for writing these for the films! I am taking advantage of all your time to improve upon my releases.
BOOK 1 EDIT
One of the things that makes movies FEEL like movies is a THEME LINE in the early parts of the movie. It’s one of those classic screenplay rules that belong in the first 5 pages of a script. It operates like a thesis in an essay- what statement of belief will be challenged by our hero’s experience? This is a tough thing to accomplish as the shows you are working with do not necessarily give great lines to an overall plot structure (They are building a short episode, not a full film). In Book 1, a theme line would happen around his talk with Greef Karga. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really deliver a line that works. Then our protagonist receives the “quest” from THE CLIENT. No thesis. Then the Armorer, but here it’s very late in the story… and while she offers wisdom the lines are geared at exposition, not giving theme to our movie. I am not sure how to improve it as you’ve only got what you got. Perhaps a new V.O. with the Armorer stating Book 1’s thesis more clearly when she accepts his payment- but I don’t know how feasible this option is. Or perhaps a new MANDO line to The Client stating his intent to always travel alone.
I definitely agree that a thematic thesis line would serve Act 1 very well! I have been experimenting with AI voicelines the past couple months and have a pretty good Din model made. Do you all think this line fits well here and sounds right? https://youtu.be/srQCZc-4AIY
The Fight scene edits = A+
I can see these fight scenes are punchier, shorter, quicker, and have less chaff getting shot by good characters to help raise the stakes. Fewer misses at the good guys. More tension is kept. Great work here!
Nice! Love to hear it. I probably spent more time fixing combat sequences than anything else in these films haha.
Small suggestion- perhaps after the Warm or Cold line you can cut to carbonite in the face blast. Could be a shorter/punchier scene to jump straight to the ship.
Yep! Was recommended by some others as well and I have it updated as indicated above. A quicker cut right to one good exterior of the ship flying so we can actually see what the Razorcrest looks like and that’s it now. No more journey across the ice lake.
Overall, I am very impressed. The problem to me personally is this cuts from the show when its at it’s best. Later Books in this series will have the advantage of cutting garbage (Looking at you, S3!). This book has the disadvantage of cutting relatively successful material. Much harder to do!! (And I am very impressed at what you created here!)
This gives me a LOT of hope for these next chapters and I cannot wait to review them.
Thank you for the kind words! I believe this is the shortest movie in my saga, and also the one I cut the least from which is interesting… Ends right at 2 hours now, but I think the pacing worked out so I’m happy with that.
I think I’m also going to try and run the film through Topaz to see if that helps with the lower-quality footage at all. So if I can get feedback on the two scenes above, I will probably have this re-released by tomorrow evening!