If Nev’s shutting this down that’s grand, buuuuuut-

I feel like that new wording implies that the senate itself is being oppressed, and that it’s commissioning the resistance as a direct response to feeling overwhelmed. It’s also kind of implying that it’s only the daring senators who are overwhelmed/oppressed.

I agree that it’s still a better angle than again reinforcing that they want Luke back, but I think those two lines could be put to slightly better use. Thinking about the angle here, we want to distinguish between the state of the Senate and the actions of the ‘brave Senators’. As for the motive, senatorial indecision is a bit bland, and anything too specifically political is a bit dry, but fear of an unknown which could be a huge threat could cover a lot of ground - explaining both why the Republic is hesitant to respond with force and indecisive, and why some want to act in secret.

So, perhaps-

Fearing the scale of this
emerging threat, daring
Senators have secretly
commissioned the pilots
of a brave RESISTANCE
to find the last Jedi and
restore the light of hope
to the darkening stars….

That way, the Republic’s struck by fear of a threat they don’t yet know the size of, but the ‘daring’ ones are acting in spite of that fear, which is nice and dynamic- if implicitly risky and desperate.