It is a time of despair.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to reforge the legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.

Saying that Luke is “striving” to reforge the Jedi order is saying that he is currently doing this, in the present tense. He is not, he is in hiding currently. I think this needs to be reworded to be in the past tense.

It is a time of despair.
After failing to restore
the legendary Jedi Order,
Luke Skywalker has vanished.

I’m not a writer, so mine isn’t necessarily good either, haha. But that’s just my quick thought.