logo Sign In

Post #1561352

Author
Jar Jar Bricks
Parent topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1561352/action/topic#1561352
Date created
20-Oct-2023, 9:28 AM

Try this:

EPISODE VII
THE FORCE AWAKENS

Balance has been broken.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to reforge the legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.

Emboldened by the Jedi’s
absence, forces of the
evil FIRST ORDER have
risen from the shadows
of an Imperial fortress to
conquer isolated worlds
beyond the reach of the
fledgling New Republic.

Desperate to unite these
planets in RESISTANCE,
a fearless militia loyal to
the New Republic has
sent its most daring pilot
to find the last Jedi and
rekindle the light of hope
to the darkening stars….

The new first line, while disconnected from the final paragraph’s poetic language, effectively establishes why this new trilogy even exists in the first place. There was balance, for a time, but it’s been broken. Thus why the Force needs to awaken itself - it was never meant to go this way. Unnatural effects of tue dark side have prolonged this fight. The word “reforge” now works much better here to describe the Jedi Order as it matches the imagery of something being broken and needing to be put back together.