The way the opening is edited is beautiful. But, I think the opening crawl text is too long. Star Wars openings are never this long. Plusz a lot of those things is just repeating on detail what we saw in Part I.
I would truncate it a bit if I were you, like for ex:
"After facing a powerful Dark Jedi BAYLAN SKOLL,
a former Padawan AHSOKA TANO finds herself between life and death.
In consequence of this showdown, her apprentice SABINE WREN has been captured by the enemy.GENERAL SYNDULLA, with the aid of courageous pilots decides to go against New Republic’s orders and
assist her friends on a unapproved mission.The sinister Nightwich of Dathomir, MORGAN ELSBETH, has discovered a secret path leading to a distant galaxy.
The countdown has begun. THE EYE OF SION, an intergalactic vessel secretly developed by the remnants of the GALACTIC EMPIRE,
is on its way to PERIDEA, a legendary world far, far away…"
Thanks for your advice, I wrote another one crawl based on your suggestion, let me know what you think about.
« The countdown has begun. After facing former Jedi BAYLAN SKOLL, Ahsoka Tano is between life and death. Following the confrontation, SABINE WREN is given the opportunity to find her long lost friend EZRA BRIDGER after having no choice but giving the star map to the enemy.
GENERAL HERA SYNDULLA, with the aid of courageous pilots decides to go against New Republic’s orders and assist her friends on an unapproved mission.
The sinister survivor of Dathomir, MORGAN ELSBETH, has discovered a secret path leading to a distant galaxy. THE EYE OF SION, is on its way to PERIDEA, a world far, far away…"