Love what you’ve done so far. I do have a few ideas that may elevate it.

1.Sabines Stabbing: theres a clip someone made of a slice rather than a stab this is a bit more believe-able and would not add another reason why qui-gon should’ve lived. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jobwstylkI

2.The Forgotten Droid: When the droids are raiding sabines place. She destroys one of them in the process. Instead of ahsoka going back there and catching a droid who stayed behind for some reason we do this:

sabine says that she got one of them to ahsoka
ahsoka tells her to get some sleep transition to morgan and assassins activating the map
once that scene ends cut back to a wide shot of lothal and cut to sabine examining the droid head as ahsoka asks her if shes up for it and let the scene continue as you have structured.

3.Ahsoka Space Combat: I would recommend cutting the space combat sequence entirely and have morgan fire on them when she asks if they are destroyed the droid replys “they are off our scopes”. Her face says it all. We cut to them just entering atmosphere skimming the surface of the planet and cut a segment of hu yang coming back online saying “what did i miss” (cropping the frame to exclude the other two who have changed seats) and cut to the ship landing. No exposition required. He already scanned the ring and we can assume he gave them the run down.