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Post #1555448

Author
WitchDR
Parent topic
The New Republic Movie Series EPIV: A Threat From Beyond (An Ahsoka Series Edit) [RELEASED]
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1555448/action/topic#1555448
Date created
19-Sep-2023, 9:38 PM

I think this is a great first cut Smudger! It flows far better than the first two episodes did originally.

I do echo something others above have mentioned though… the jump from Ashoka getting the map and then instantly being on the ship with Huyang afterwards. The dialogue about Huyang being too out of reach for contact needs to be removed, or you could reinstate Ahsoka trying to communicate with Huyang while in the tomb then jump to her on the ship with Huyang and allow the conversation to remain as-is.

Two other things I think could be fixed are:

  • Ahsoka’s search for the map needs trimming. Too much walking around to each pillar. Could easily be tightened up.

  • Also Sabine still has a hole in her back from the stab wound she received from Shin.

Here’s a trimmed down version of the map search and also the shot of Sabine with the back of her shirt fixed using masking:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1s1LA58QGDZFkAIvYzGFHUjs8ui7cdPkJ
(Have to start putting clips on Google Drive, since Vimeo seems to strike everything down now)

Other than those things, I think this is pretty much the best it can get!