To be honest I think the original lines convey all we need to the audience. From the way the movie is structured, we’re not really supposed to know Palpatine’s scheme until Rey confronts him, there’s supposed to be some mistery and tension as she approaches Exegol and goes deeper into the Sith halls. I don’t think we should spell everything out from the get go, the original lines from the Pryde transmision leave things vague but they still comunicate a lot. He tells Pryde Rey will come, but it’s not until she arrives we’re shown they’ve been ordered not to fire, he tells Pryde Leias act was in vain, but it’s not until Rey confronts him we learn he wants Rey to kill him and become heir to the Sith. And the line about Leia already conveys that his plan with Kylo failed.