The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released) — Page 672

I think some troopers recognize him, like the trooper he fights in TFA and the trooper on the Supremacy from the TLJ deleted scene, but I don’t think most would recognize them. It seems like only troopers who knew him personally, or were in the same company/legion as him, have seen his face during day-to-day life.

And it’s possible some knew of his betrayal, or the FO kept it under wraps, but overtime stormtroopers came to learn of his story. Maybe Resistance propaganda pushed that idea and it stormtroopers encountered it in the field.

And I agree with Jar Jar. I think Jannah exclaiming “You?!” could be recontextualized once we imply she’s heard of FN-2187.

It’s honestly mind-boggling that they didn’t take advantage of this opportunity in the script to begin with.

But even with this change, people can still make the argument that a pivotal moment in Finn’s arc shouldn’t have been relegated to expository dialog. Would have been cool to see a flashback similar to the one Luke gives Rey that shows what actually happened to Jannah and co.

Well in TLJ Finn’s actions inspired Rose and her sister in scenes we also don’t see, I think it’d be a nice parallel to that, he discovers he didn’t just become a hero to the Resistance, but he inadvertently inspired other stormtroopers as well.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Well, I for one actually really like this idea. The fact that Leia has a purple lightsaber now shows that she and Luke really did try to get her darkness under control (Va Paad). But perhaps it just felt too overbearing for her.

Which would also explain why she ships off Ben to Luke because she discovers that same shadow is inside of him. And after that fails, she realizes that Rey needs somebody who understands her struggles to help her, not somebody who would whip out his lightsaber when he senses how much potential evil you can cause.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

DZ-330 said:

JEDIT: Plus, it makes Leia look like an even shittier mom knowing the darkness her son is struggling with and pawning him off on someone else.

Yup, that would be the characteristic “every old hero has to fail in the new trilogy” the sequels are so fond of.

It also explains 2 other things:

1. The emotions on both of their faces in the flashback
2. As Burbin pointed out, Leia needs a reason why she wouldn’t simply tap into the Force and become a Jedi again once Luke wasn’t coming back. This is as good a reason as any.

Thanks, that was just my reasoning! And I hadn’t seen the Shatterpoint connection before, but that is a pretty nice cherry on top.

EddieDean said:

I’m not sure we should lean into Leia’s darkness as a reason- her struggling with the dark is an unnecessary new wrinkle. Emulating Padmé is grand, but I think the more ambiguity the better here, other than leading into Rey taking on the saber.

Hal 9000 said:

If you pursued that idea, the natural place to inject it would be as Luke talks with Rey fireside. That said, I can’t say I love the idea or want to pursue it here. Too much crammed in, raises many questions.

Fair enough! As much as I’m still fond of the idea, the more I think about it, it feels like a concept that would have been best served in the script revision or reshoot stage, pretty far beyond what’s practical now for fanedit purposes.

This movie introduced a ton of new ideas it doesn’t give time to fully develop, so it’s probably best not to introduce another, lol.

DZ-330 said:

Jar Jar Bricks said:

• Jannah AI voice to make it clear her company views Finn as their inspiration for rebelling

Finn: I never knew there were more.

Jannah: Deserters? All of us here were stormtroopers. We mutinied at the battle of Ansett Island. We followed what you did. They told us to fire on civilians. We wouldn’t do it. We laid our weapons down.

Finn: All of you?

Jannah: The whole company. One by one… I don’t even know how it happened. It wasn’t a decision, really, it was like…

Finn: An instinct. Feeling.

Jannah: A feeling.

---

Changing Jannah’s line a bit can give the implication that they weren’t all in the same squad nor deserted at the same time, but they each did what Finn did individually and have been building up their own First Order Refugee Camp with deserters.

Love this, feels like the most elegant way to integrate this beat so far.

The only tweak I’d suggest-- (and it’s a minor one, blame incurable line-editing brain)-- is making the line “We did what YOU did,” which I think matches the tone of the surrounding dialogue a little closer. The delivery focusing on “you” would carry the same implication.

The one snag is that I’m not really familiar with how these voice synthesizers are tuned, so hitting the right delivery might be too impractical. If it’s not worth the effort, the “followed” version should still work great.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

I’m planning on following RL’s recommended Jannah lines because it matches up with when her face is off screen.

As for Palpatine, I think simplicity would work best here. “Long have I waited… for a worthy heir to the Sith. But Kylo Ren was weak. Empress Palpatine. You will take the throne.”

Here’s an extremely rough test of this idea (I suck at editing):
https://youtu.be/sFCtq0M8w4I?si=iF21LcwUelxgODyB

The lines sound really good to me though.

Goddman, just when I think it can’t get any better. I think Palpatine’s lines are officially in the menu boys.

It is better than I thought it would be! I’m also sort of in the camp of not adding AI dialogue to Exegol unless necessary, but adding something in to his hologram convo with Pryde potentially. A part of me feels it will still be a challenge to make it blend into the sound mix, like Hal mentioned. At least we know that it actually might be doable though if we are set on something!

I agree that the first line could be improved a significant amount, but I thought the second one was pretty convincing:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wIpgh7G_RLGMj1Jzoa4qcJGrMx_CZqQC/view?usp=sharing

EDIT: I doubt the hologram scene would work well because of the hologram distortion.

I think you could just replace all of it to make it the same, and add new hologram distortion effects, because it isn’t a lot of dialogue.

Is his mouth fairly visible in that scene? I don’t remember.

Yeah, so his mouth his fairly invisible during the whole: “Send a ship to a world they know. Let it burn. The Final Order begins.” And this is ideally the dialog we would want to replace. Since it comes right before “She will come, her friends will follow”, we could start drafting what he could say about Rey. Perhaps something like, “My granddaughter will be my vessel in place of Kylo Ren. Do not disturb her approach.”

The trouble is that Palpatine’s voice is ingrained in all 5 channels in this scene. So… yeah. We’d need an audio wizard to patch this up.

One other fun thing I’d like to do is redub “Come to me on Exegol, General Pryde” with “Come to me on Exegol, Supreme Leader”. To make it clear that since Kylo Ren is gone he has inherited the 2nd in command below the Emperor.

Hmm. I think that’s a nice change to change to supreme leader, but to play devils advocate, as a first time viewer, I think it risks taking away the slight suspense in the air wondering if Ben solo would actually come to assist Rey. Since it was indirectly implied via changed line to new supreme leader pryde

I don’t think it makes sense for Pryde to take the Supreme Leader title, it’s clear he’s just using the FO resources he has at hand in serving Palpatine & restoring his Empire. The First Order was just the beggining, the first step of Palpatine’s plan, and now it’s assimilated as the Final Order begins. The title of Supreme Leader is no longer at play here, and even if it was, I don’t think Pryde would take it since Palpatine is his “Supreme Leader”, keeping his title of “Allegiant” General makes more sense.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

• Jannah AI voice to make it clear her company views Finn as their inspiration for rebelling

So yeah, here’s this:
https://youtu.be/3DCC0abhlw8?si=Ldy4RsWbMnQocf-E

I think the first line sounds pretty good but the second one could be improved (or removed entirely). Really it’s only the first one that’s important.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

So yeah, here’s this:
https://youtu.be/3DCC0abhlw8?si=Ldy4RsWbMnQocf-E

I think the first line sounds pretty good but the second one could be improved (or removed entirely). Really it’s only the first one that’s important.

This is one of the best ideas - it finally gives Finn the full circle of his arc that was so severely missing. It’s a shame there can’t be more than this but the fact it can now be here does something to at least round out his story.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Jar Jar Bricks said:

• Jannah AI voice to make it clear her company views Finn as their inspiration for rebelling

So yeah, here’s this:
https://youtu.be/3DCC0abhlw8?si=Ldy4RsWbMnQocf-E

I think the first line sounds pretty good but the second one could be improved (or removed entirely). Really it’s only the first one that’s important.

This is really good! Did you use the whole sample you sent me, or just the lines from this scene?

I used the whole sample, but something tells me I could have gotten better results faster if I’d cut out the lines she says outside.

I’d be interested in generating both of these lines again. While the first line sounds good, I think it would sound even better with different emphasis on certain words. And the second one is definitely not fully there, yet. Shouldn’t be an issue though. I only spent a few minutes trying with each (for reference, I normally spend 10-20 minutes to get ones that we actually use).

Hal 9000 said:

Changed Rey’s line to Leia as she turns over the lightsaber from “your brother’s saber” to “your family’s saber” to begin to plant a seed about eventually identifying herself with the Skywalker family (AI voice provided by Jar Jar Bricks)

In a callback to a line modified earlier, when Leia hands Leia the saber before she departs the base, she tells Rey, “You are family” (AI line provided by Jar Jar Bricks)

I had nothing to do with these two. RL did both of these 😉