Hey! I want to introduce myself and share some of my feedback. I have written multiple screenplays, and I’ve worked on small productions for stunt acting. I am certainly no expert so take all of my feedback for what it is- my enthusiastic SUGGESTIONS to help you improve your awesome project. All of my notes come from a fellow big Star Wars fan who loves and appreciates your edits!!
I have never checked out your edits as I am a big fan of S1 and S2 of Mandalorian and felt that I personally do not NEED a shorter edit. Then Boba Fett came out. Then S3. Then Kenobi (thanks PixelJoker!). This led me to your edits, and the way you assembled the story requires that I watch ALL of them. So I will watch all of them and give my input as a fellow film enthusiast. Not all of my notes will be actionable, but sharing is the least I can do!
BOOK 1 EDIT
One of the things that makes movies FEEL like movies is a THEME LINE in the early parts of the movie. It’s one of those classic screenplay rules that belong in the first 5 pages of a script. It operates like a thesis in an essay- what statement of belief will be challenged by our hero’s experience? This is a tough thing to accomplish as the shows you are working with do not necessarily give great lines to an overall plot structure (They are building a short episode, not a full film). In Book 1, a theme line would happen around his talk with Greef Karga. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really deliver a line that works. Then our protagonist receives the “quest” from THE CLIENT. No thesis. Then the Armorer, but here it’s very late in the story… and while she offers wisdom the lines are geared at exposition, not giving theme to our movie. I am not sure how to improve it as you’ve only got what you got. Perhaps a new V.O. with the Armorer stating Book 1’s thesis more clearly when she accepts his payment- but I don’t know how feasible this option is. Or perhaps a new MANDO line to The Client stating his intent to always travel alone.
The Fight scene edits = A+
I can see these fight scenes are punchier, shorter, quicker, and have less chaff getting shot by good characters to help raise the stakes. Fewer misses at the good guys. More tension is kept. Great work here!
Small suggestion- perhaps after the Warm or Cold line you can cut to carbonite in the face blast. Could be a shorter/punchier scene to jump straight to the ship.
Overall, I am very impressed. The problem to me personally is this cuts from the show when its at it’s best. Later Books in this series will have the advantage of cutting garbage (Looking at you, S3!). This book has the disadvantage of cutting relatively successful material. Much harder to do!! (And I am very impressed at what you created here!)
This gives me a LOT of hope for these next chapters and I cannot wait to review them.