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Post #1553548

Author
PsyGemini
Parent topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1553548/action/topic#1553548
Date created
9-Sep-2023, 8:56 PM

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Here’s how that latest one from DZ might sound, then:

https://youtu.be/cjGnFo_EYQI?si=lJ_l78JdZQ_-0LOS

Pretty solid, but the “I had begun to train her” doesn’t quite work IMO, 'cause she definitely seems to have been in training for at least a decent amount of time. I still think a simple “it was a night in our training” could work better here.

Also, “through Senate diplomacy” could work better than just “diplomacy”, 'cause as someone said, the jedi were always kind of diplomats as well.