“Lightspeed clipped” sounds pretty good actually. Imagine a galaxy where people are entering and exiting lightspeed all the time and there’s always a chance of some little thing showing up in front of them to cause massive damage. It’s definitely a costly error.

I’m not sure what method you are using for the Poe lines but they sound pretty incredible.

Also, where would Leia’s “you are family” go exactly? It’s clever to replace “brother’s saber” with “family’s saber” but as I recall there isn’t a place to put Leia’s response to that in the scene. I think it would be best to place it where “A Jedi needs her weapon” currently sits.