Well, most people here are familiar with the classics, like ‘Bollocks’ and ‘mate’. ‘Git’ is also one and ‘Nutter’ is the same as saying ‘that guy’s nuts’ – ‘that guy’s a nutter!’ Arse is our version of Ass, but it can be adapted into ‘stop arsin’ around’ or ‘I can’t be arsed’ (meaning I can’t be arsed to get out of bed and go to work’. Wank means to masturbate so calling someone a wanker is an insult, as is calling someone a tosser. Getting drunk is getting pissed. ‘Banging on’ is to talk incessantly and uninterestingly, eg ‘my wife won’t stop banging on about the bloody dishes’. Calling someone a ‘bell-end’ is pretty insulting. If someone is a bit shady, or there's just something not quite right about them, you can say they are 'dodgy' (you can also say stuff like 'I've got a dodgy leg'). It's not really an insult but I've never heard it anywhere but here. That’s all I can think of right now, most of your American insults are used here too. When you’ve written the play, run it by me and I will UK it up for you.