This all sounds pretty good! I do have one recommendation though. You should add the scene were Jocasta-Nu tells Obi-wan about Count Dooku. You may have to add the rest of the scene back with obi-wan trying to find Komino but I think it’s worth it. Dooku is the main antagonist of the movie so it’s good to know who he is and where he came from. It also alludes to his motivation for going against the Republic.
The problem with that scene is that the special effects were never completed, so the scene looks extremely rough and incomplete. That’s basically the reason of why no one ever adds that scene to any fan edit of the movie. All of us would love to add that scene to our own fan edits, but we first need a VFX artists (or someone like that) to finish the special effects first, and no one yet has ever tried to do that.