Hi, it’s me again! So I watched Book 2 and I have thoughts on this one.

Again, the editing overall is very well done. Alas, I had some issues here. I will say that I do very much appreciate and genuinely love the idea of going back and forth between Mando and Boba’s story here. I think it’s a brilliant idea and I think it absolutely is the best way to tell this story. Any edit that truly is going to condense the Filoniverse simply has to do this or it’s not going to succeed.

Now as I was taking my notes, I essentially found that my main issue was that the cross-cutting and placement of scenes, at least enough of them, wasn’t quite working for me because I feel that there simply wasn’t a connective tissue between enough of the Mando and Boba scenes to explain why a Mando scene was following a Boba scene and vice versa. The flow wasn’t there.

I’ll explain that more in detail in my notes, and as I go along.

I had mentioned these two things re: Book 1 and I stand by one of them after having watched this.

I would suggest [for the ending]: Going into Book 2, begin [… in] the cockpit, looking at the planet, flying over, widow looks up, Razorcrest lands, Mando tells him to stay put, Grogu follows, ‘What the hell?’ they walk out, swipe to young Boba, we get all of that, and then to the village we count as the passage of time as intended by ending Book 1. IMO, that works much better. A lot punchier ending for Book 1, and opens Book 2 ON Mando.

You noticed I took out Kuiil/IG-11 above. We don’t see the fruit of that in this Book, so cut that out and place it somewhere in Book 2, or alternatively place it earlier in the film.* It just really sticks out of place. We are long gone from Kuiil at this point so it really makes no sense to have it here.

So having watched Book 2, I think that it definitely would work better to have it begin with Mando checking out Sorgan, heading there, then we go into Boba Fett’s story. As for Kuiil, there really isn’t a place for that to pop up organically in Book 2, but I do think it would work better where I had suggested in my earlier post after the forging scene.
Now regarding the Boba/Mando cross-cutting, one of the other issues (aside from the lack of connective tissue), was the lopsidedness. It was very, very heavy leaning toward Boba and then Mando popped up, and it just was kinda off. So, it was like: a bunch of scenes of Boba, followed by one scene of Mando, a bunch of Boba, then Mando, and then it would switch. There just wasn’t much balance.
One thing that I thought would work better would be to move the 1st Mando scene after Boba was first brought to the Tusken village. That cuts down on the lack of balance in the early going. And then move the second Mando scene ahead of the train attack for two reasons, again the balance, but more importantly, that connective tissue. It was jarring to go from the dead Tusken Raiders to the soft, happy village scene. However, switching it the scene ends with Din talking about his painful past and the Mandalorians saving him, and then watching this community that is welcoming him to Boba being taught to fight by the Tuskens who saved and welcomed him. This creates this beautiful connective tissue.
One odd thing that I noticed. In the first half, I think this was mostly the flashback scenes with Boba, the volume was fairly low in those scenes because when it would switch to the Mando scenes the volume change was really noticeable, like glaringly so. Once we got past the train sequence, that issue went away, but before then, it was really bad. And I hadn’t noticed any volume issues in Book 1 at all.
So, you clearly placed Din meeting Cara at the bar to introduce her and get her to the village. I have a few thoughts here. 1) That was when I first noticed the REALLY obvious volume change. 2) I know you said you cut Grogu sipping the soup because you thought it was too long. Personally, I think that was a mistake. I know it became a meme which may be why you grew annoyed with it, but it really worked in the episode. Moments like that, the close-up on Grogu as he was sipping the soup, it allowed the audience – and Cara and Din to realize – they were being a bit ridiculous. It gave the characters and the show a little bit of time to breathe. By cutting that moment so close, you took that away. It was a light-hearted moment that really worked, for the audience and for the characters. It helped bond Cara and Din. I would highly suggest putting it back in.
The transition from the end of the train scene when the water is rushing onto the Tuskens into the next Sorgan village scene is a bit rough. Maybe a SW wipe? (There aren’t too many of those in this anyway.)
Back to Cara, I don’t see how that conversation in the bar explained Cara being at the village. When we saw her in the village in the next scene, I was like… why is she there? What happened to make her go there in this edit? I knew from watching the show itself, but from this edit, I had no clue why she was there.
And I had no clue why Din wanted to leave the village. I don’t know why he told Cara he was leaving Grogu there, or why he told the widow he wasn’t staying. It just came out of nowhere. He seemed happy and they were settling in good. Then he saw Cara in the bar and they had a fight but then had a good chat, and then suddenly she’s in the village and he’s all I’m going. It just didn’t work for me.
Now, I’m back to the lack of connective tissue with the Boba/Mando scenes. Grogu is staring at the villagers as they’re leaving and then we cut to Boba getting wound up in his ceremonial robes and it seems like there should be some connection there. But there’s none. Or maybe it’s that Grogu is leaving, but Boba is joining? But shouldn’t that be Mando leaving, and Boba joining? See, it’s confusing. There should be something that connects the scenes with this cross-cutting.
When Mando’s ship is shot at before he heads to Tatooine, can you add some line about looking for a nearby planet? Because he mentions losing fuel and then he’s just pushing buttons, switches and then a voice says: “Mos Eisley, bay 3.” It just would make it make more sense. If that line is available.
I know you don’t like Pel (the “weird mechanic lady,”) but cutting off the scene when she told Mando, “I know you said no droids,” felt exactly like that, you were cutting her scene off. I’m sure she said something else after that. Whatever it was, I really think you should keep it because as is, the scene, again, FEELS cut off and abruptly goes into the next Boba scene. Just letting her speak and then the scene breathe a bit to finish out before going into the Boba scene would play much better. (Unless I’m wrong and the scene really did end that abruptly.)
I know you mentioned this, but you were so right: The door shutting with Boba and then the next scene with Mando walking out an opening door was so cool. It worked beautifully. And it might not be thematic, but it still created an awesome connective tissue.
Absolutely gorgeous transition between Din telling Grogu to “stop touching things” and the ship shaking to Cara fighting. Alas, that scene was way, way too short and felt almost superfluous before we jumped into the Boba/Fennec scene.
The “mod” tech showing on Fennec’s stomach totally worked in terms of Boba saving her life without explanation or her being shown taken to get fixed.
I really, really loved the ‘make the baby do the wavy magic hands,’ so I’m sorry you cut that, but I knew you had, so… sigh. 😦
So, personally, I don’t think the last “four stormtroopers?” from Cara needs to be kept. She’d already said it three times.
Here I go with the ending again, sorry. I think you should SW wipe from the darksaber moment with Gideon to Boba and Fennec with him saying “tribes” to the last scene you had with Mando, where we see him with his little tribe, him and Grogu. That way you end on Mando.

So, again, phew! I know it seemed like I had a lot of criticisms, but I still did think you did a lot of amazing stuff. And I love the idea you had, I just think it needs some more finessing. The second half was almost perfect, there were just a few slight tweaks there. And I’m really impressed with what you’ve managed to achieve. Boba does seem more solid, more what I think we all expected he would be like. I have stuff I have to do so I don’t know if I’ll get to the rest tomorrow, but I may try because I really am enjoying your work!!!