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Post #1537359

Author
Channel72
Parent topic
Who is Anakin's father?
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1537359/action/topic#1537359
Date created
4-May-2023, 12:55 PM

Anakin’s father was a random alcoholic homeless man who spent most of his days wandering around Mos Espa aimlessly, scraping by via begging, scamming moisture farmers, and gambling on pod-races, only to usually pass out drunk in an alley behind Watto’s junkyard where all his earnings would be stolen by Jawas.

Shmi Skywalker met him once and took pity on him for some reason. They had a brief fling. He was occasionally charming, if a bit unhygienic. But ultimately Shmi got sick of his antics, and filed a restraining order with Gardulla the Hutt. In order to spare little Anakin the shame of his loser dad, Shmi concocted a ridiculous lie, telling Anakin (and everyone else) he was the unlikely product of parthenogenesis. Anakin’s father was okay with this because (A) it meant he wouldn’t be obligated to pay child support, and (B) he usually had no idea what was going on.

A year before the outbreak of the Clone Wars, Anakin’s father died from acute liver failure at a random outpost a few kilometers southwest of Mos Eisley. He was buried in an unmarked grave, which was later desecrated by Tusken raiders.

Years later, Chancellor Palpatine, knowing Anakin’s father was a random drunk loser, made up some ridiculous story about Darth Plagueis screwing around with the Dark Side to auto-spawn a kid, as part of an elaborate ruse to trick Anakin into spontaneously mass-murdering almost everyone he ever knew. Somehow, it worked - even though creating life is not technically the same as preventing someone from dying.