I watched your first chapter and it’s overall my favorite feature-length ‘first’ Mandalorian film in terms of overall story and visuals. Just a few suggestions:
Wow! That’s high praise, thanks for that. I am most pleased that you had a good time with it. I hope your experience remains the same through the rest of my saga!
- Love that you kept the opening bounty scene for characterization, but it could be further trimmed. Just cut from them walking to the razorcrest to the ship flying away, and then show Mando freezing him in carbonite and pan out to show all of the frozen bounties - this shows how successful and no-nonsense he is and tees up the offloading scene nicely.
I actually did have it almost exactly how you wrote there, but upon review, I needed just a tiny bit of characterization from the bounty since he reappears later on in the story and it is clear that the viewer is intended to know him. I also edit these movies with the idea that my viewers are going in totally fresh, with no prior knowledge of the episodes as if they are seeing this content for the first time ever. So I really liked the line we get from him about Din not taking his helmet off. That would be the first time we learn about this character trait and it is quite intriguing from the get go.
- Trim down the Jawa + repairs sequence even more if you could. It gets a little slow in the second act.
Was there a scene in particular that seemed to drag on? The credits roll at 1 hour 59 minutes, so I don’t think the overall runtime is an issue, but if there is a specific moment that seems like it should move along I can consider another minor trim.
- I agree that you need a third act after moving the wetlands to film two (the final sequence where they leave Nevaro is the best ‘film one’ ending beat in my opinion, so good idea). But the stakes of the prisoners arc are way too low and we don’t really get the sense that Mando is worried about Grogu if he’s willing to literally leave him in the hands of imperials on the planet. The idea that his interaction with the covert and memories of his own situation as a foundling increase the urgency of the rescue makes more sense. Also, Pershing shouldn’t have access to Grogu for more than a day or so, otherwise they would have the blood they need and Gideon would have no reason to recover him in season 2. I suggest that you have the prisoners episode happen on the way back from Arvala-7 to Navaro. It would still achieve the goal of making it clear that Mando is fed up with bounty hunting, but the catharsis at the end of the arc would be that he gets to go back to Grogu and reckon more with his decision to turn Grogu in.
I think the purpose of Act 2 (Prisoner bounty) is to show the monotony of the life Din is in. The low stakes of just another bounty and another day in the life hammer in his desire for something more, and he is able to later find that in Grogu. Yes, I also wish I had something a little higher stakes to work with, but Mando Season 1 is mostly made of slower side adventures, and I still think the prisoner storyline provides the best look into Din as a person and shows why he is tired of the bounty hunting lifestyle.
I suggest that you have the prisoners episode happen on the way back from Arvala-7 to Navaro.
Unfortunately, this is not an option due to the modifications on Din’s armor throughout the season. I am restricted to a certain order because of the in your face visuals. If I went straight from Arvala to the prisoner heist, Din would instantly appear in the next scene with a full cuirass of beskar armor that he hasn’t even received the materials for yet. I also don’t know how I’d play out why he even goes to do that bounty when he still has Grogu that he needs to turn in.
Also, Pershing shouldn’t have access to Grogu for more than a day or so, otherwise they would have the blood they need and Gideon would have no reason to recover him in season 2 It would still achieve the goal of making it clear that Mando is fed up with bounty hunting, but the catharsis at the end of the arc would be that he gets to go back to Grogu and reckon more with his decision to turn Grogu in.
Well I can do a double bag red blood cell donation in under 10 minutes haha, so I think either way Pershing has time to collect initial samples to begin research. We have no idea what Pershing was exactly doing with the blood or precisely how much he needed. We only know that he needed access to Grogu again because the initial samples were no longer viable to produce the desired results. There are a million different reasons why this could be the case.
Thanks for your feedback and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the other films as well. I’ll post here again when Book 4 is ready.