I wonder if for Chapter 21 if it could be edited to make Carson holocall instead of travel to coruscant.
With him planet hoping back and forth it kind of removes tension because Nevarro would have been completely destroyed in that time.
It wouldn’t be perfect because he still travels to Mando and Mando then to Nevarro but it would be better in my opinion.
Not sure if it’s possible with the shots you’ve got to work with but thought it was worth putting the idea out there.
I agree that the tension doesn’t build super effectively, but I don’t know how feasible making a holocall scene would be.
While Nevarro would be destroyed in the time it takes Carson to reach Coruscant, the pirates’ goal is to plunder and pillage, not destroy, so I feel like at least that part isn’t something to worry about.
I’d like to see if I can imply some greater passage of time for the events on Nevarro, to hopefully help with that tension issue. Like showing Greef’s camp at night, and then the next scene on Nevarro is at day showing that they’ve been exiled for a while.