I don’t see what Padme surviving or dying has to do with reordering scenes in the second act. Especially if one of the overall goals is to make the nightmare the sum of a greater whole rather then the main thing. Putting the nightmare first sets the tone for the rest of the movie.

I find it unfortunate that the “cheat death” line has to go because it’s the only one that refers to it that way rather then “save Padme”, which sounds way too altruistic to be a dark side power. Cheat death sounds more sinister and more likely for Anakin to believe to come from the dark side of the force. “Cheat death” has an entirely different vibe from “save someone from dying”. One sounds appropriately like a pact with the devil, the other like going to to the hospital.

I also think Anakin also receiving a vision of himself burning on Mustafar and making the pact so he can be immortal too is also a cool idea, but I doubt you’d include it.