I never liked the Prequel Jedi doctrine forbidding romantic relationships. For one thing, nothing in Star Wars before the Prequels ever suggested this idea. Sure, in Empire Strikes Back Yoda tells Luke that his Jedi training is more important than loyalty to his friends. But these were dire circumstances. We can’t extrapolate from this that official Jedi doctrine forbade romantic attachments. I mean certainly not after Mara Jade showed up. (I know that wasn’t Lucas, but whatever).
The Jedi order was originally suggested to be something like a cross between mythologized versions of Samurai and Arthurian Knights - an order of elite warriors committed to serving the Republic. With the introduction of Yoda in Empire Strikes Back, the original warrior/soldier Kurosawa stuff (“General Kenobi in the clone wars”) was downplayed in favor of an emphasis on meditation and self-defense. Elements of Taoism, Zen Buddhism and Tibetan Buddhism were mixed in. But even though some forms of monastic Buddhism have traditions of celibacy, this isn’t mandated, and there was nothing in Star Wars to suggest it anyway. Of all Anakin’s sins, it was never suggested that getting married and having children was one of them.
The fact that the Jedi must choose between the Order and marriage seems to stem from Lucas personally. Lucas lost Marcia because of his commitment to making movies, especially Star Wars. He had two marriages and had to choose between them, and movies won out.
Lucas put a lot more of himself in Star Wars then people think. He gave the Jedi his philosophy. The relationship between Obi-Wan and Anakin is likely inspired by him being a student and then friend of Francis Ford Coppola.
The attachment thing and keeping him from his mother should have been the reason he turned on the Jedi. Also a desire for justice, the Jedi didn’t care about the slaves. And his desiring power. Anakin wants the power to dominate life and the lives of others, and to maintain order through force. He aligns with Palpatine because they agree the Empire is the way to balance chaos. Obi-Wan doesn’t agree he trusts the people and believes in Democracy. He becomes an enemy of the new order.
Join the darkside to save Padme is just idiotic.
The Jedi never kept Anakin from his mother, nor did they not care about slaves. The first one is just a plot hole because frankly, Shmi is a plot device in Anakin’s fall and if the Jedi save her there’s less story. George called them “the most moral of anyone in the galaxy”, therefore he didn’t have them not save her to portray them in a bad light. The second is because the Jedi don’t have the man-power to wage war on the entire Outer Rim without the Senate’s backing, which they refuse to give.
Other then that I agree with you, though I do think Anakin wanting to cheat death is a really interesting idea that could actually really work, especially if he also wants it for himself. You could even tie that desire to Vader being a cyborg, though that’d admittedly be a quite radical change.