Anakin being with Padme while he’s a Jedi is inherently wrong because Anakin’s married to the Order. It’s a commitment.

Close relationships are allowed. Masters and their padawans are very close. Tiplar and Tipler were sisters and loved each other. Obi-Wan outright says, he loved Anakin as a brother. Also it’s not like Yoda or Obi-Wan said he couldn’t be friends with Han or Leia, they just warned him that his feelings were/could be manipulated.

Loving everyone equally is not what it’s about. Luke didn’t love Vader equally as much as he loved Han and Leia, but he still did.

But the prequels portray this poorly as the Jedi are so flat and boring, nor does Lucas ever dive into his ideology more then, “Let go of your attachments, Anakin”.