I appreciate the feedback and am glad you enjoyed it! I’m less willing to make further changes to this one than Episode I, but let’s talk through your feedback.
- I can see an argument for pieces of the “I don’t like sand” scene to be re-added, to use as a relationship bridge between the scene at her home to the suddenly very romantic picnic, or in another location. I think the scene works until “not like here” before it gets overly awkward. I think the contrast between their view on sand is quite poetic as it shows the difference in their upbringing.
This sequence in TAS follows a fan edit by Slumberland, replacing the fireside scene of deciding not to fall in love with a modified, nighttime version of the lakeside kiss. Their love develops more organically, which admittedly may be less dramatic but I feel works better onscreen.
- I think the Geonosian conveyor scene works so much better than the original, but it still feels a bit clunky to me. Particularly 3 moments:
A) The way the shots are ordered make it unclear which container Padme is in before the lava falls. I can see why this may have been done on purpose, but I think it would probably still work better if we knew.
This is an aspect of the original scene, so I don’t have a problem with it.
B) Having Anakin drop the container with the force is a clever change but I didn’t even notice on first watch. The other viewers thought that the Geonosians caused it to drop. I wonder if there’s some way to imply they caused it to drop so they could capture her?
Even if I removed that shot of Anakin releasing the container, it’d be a solid enough inference that the Geonosians did it since they approach her immediately.
C) Warning, Nitpicky. The droidekas roll up with Jango, then we go to Padme, then back to Anakin and they roll up again. It feels awkward. I’d say start that last shot a second later than you do, to show that at least the few near Jango are already stopped.
I see what you mean, but it’s something with the original and I don’t see anything to do without undoing how I had made the scene to end. Doesn’t seem like a big problem, though.
- I don’t know the whole deleted scene of negotiations between Padme and Dooku, but the way it’s currently edited feels awkward, it definitely feels like there’s missing lines. I do like its inclusion for pacing and Dooku’s characterization.
I’ve used the deleted scene as presented to us, but I get what you mean.
- EC Henry made a sort of psuedo-translation for the Geonosians. It’s completely fanmade, but it’s very interesting. It could be a neat change for Poggle the Lesser’s subtitles, to give the arena opening some more grandeur. Here’s the video if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vqsJC4sYig
“Settle down, settle down” becomes “listen, and let your speaking be silent!”
“Let the executions begin” becomes “Behold, the Barahunde”
I’ve seen it, and always admire what that guy does. I don’t necessarily want to change the subtitles to a stilted use of language, especially since he doesn’t say nearly as much here as in the theatrical.
- Just curious, what’s the reason for removing the shot of Mace Windu walking up to Dooku?
So it’s more of a surprise when he is suddenly there a few shots later.
- I feel stupid. When I watched this, I didn’t even realize the Yoda/Dooku duel was gone. The only criticism I have is that the twinkle sfx starts on the last Dooku power, but it’s cutoff abruptly. I recommend replacing it with a new sfx that can carry over into the shot of squeezing the pipes, or just remove the sfx.
That’s good, that means it’s working! I don’t remember specifically but I think that sound was intertwined with the music and had to now lead into him using the force to pull down the pipe.
- Nitpick alert: I suggest removing “welcome home” from Palpatine to Count Dooku. Feels out of character.
Eh, it quickly cements that these two are deeply in cahoots.
Overall, great edit! Makes the film actually watchable! I’m looking forward to my watch of The Labyrinth of Evil tomorrow. Thank you!
Hey, I look forward to hearing your thoughts. That movie is the most different of the three.