Hi Hal, I just finished watching The Approaching Storm. I have to commend you for your edit! I didn’t realize how good of a job it was doing until I read the cutlist script doc. Most of the changes are seamless and work much better. The first 3rd especially is remarkably improved. I do miss Anakin and Obi-wan going through the purple lightning, I always thought that was funny as a kid; but, I also understand its removal. Well done! I thought I’d give a few thoughts below though.
|

I can see an argument for pieces of the “I don’t like sand” scene to be re-added, to use as a relationship bridge between the scene at her home to the suddenly very romantic picnic, or in another location. I think the scene works until “not like here” before it gets overly awkward. I think the contrast between their view on sand is quite poetic as it shows the difference in their upbringing.
|
I think the Geonosian conveyor scene works so much better than the original, but it still feels a bit clunky to me. Particularly 3 moments:
A) The way the shots are ordered make it unclear which container Padme is in before the lava falls. I can see why this may have been done on purpose, but I think it would probably still work better if we knew.
B) Having Anakin drop the container with the force is a clever change but I didn’t even notice on first watch. The other viewers thought that the Geonosians caused it to drop. I wonder if there’s some way to imply they caused it to drop so they could capture her?
C) Warning, Nitpicky. The droidekas roll up with Jango, then we go to Padme, then back to Anakin and they roll up again. It feels awkward. I’d say start that last shot a second later than you do, to show that at least the few near Jango are already stopped.
|
I don’t know the whole deleted scene of negotiations between Padme and Dooku, but the way it’s currently edited feels awkward, it definitely feels like there’s missing lines. I do like its inclusion for pacing and Dooku’s characterization.
|
EC Henry made a sort of psuedo-translation for the Geonosians. It’s completely fanmade, but it’s very interesting. It could be a neat change for Poggle the Lesser’s subtitles, to give the arena opening some more grandeur. Here’s the video if you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vqsJC4sYig
“Settle down, settle down” becomes “listen, and let your speaking be silent!”
“Let the executions begin” becomes “Behold, the Barahunde”
|
Just curious, what’s the reason for removing the shot of Mace Windu walking up to Dooku?
|
I feel stupid. When I watched this, I didn’t even realize the Yoda/Dooku duel was gone. The only criticism I have is that the twinkle sfx starts on the last Dooku power, but it’s cutoff abruptly. I recommend replacing it with a new sfx that can carry over into the shot of squeezing the pipes, or just remove the sfx.
|
Nitpick alert: I suggest removing “welcome home” from Palpatine to Count Dooku. Feels out of character.

Overall, great edit! Makes the film actually watchable! I’m looking forward to my watch of The Labyrinth of Evil tomorrow. Thank you!