I think the gap between “a weapon located in the Ilum system” and “he worked on the base” is perfect. I would just take a second look at the word “Finn”. How would it sound if you used replaced that word with the reading I gave you?
Post #1527036
- Author
- Jar Jar Bricks
- Parent topic
- The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
- Link to post in topic
- https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1527036/action/topic#1527036
- Date created
- 3-Mar-2023, 3:27 PM