Wow, thanks y’all! I’ll see if I can’t have that 1.1 version out soon, then it’s on to 2.0.
For the final paragraph, is it better to describe the band of rebels as ‘daring’ or should I refer to the Republic as ‘new’? That’s the question. Perhaps 'tis better to remove ‘daring’ because it’s just one more bit of wordiness while ‘New Republic’ doesn’t read as any more wordy.
Very well, how about this:
In an act of RESISTANCE,
a band of rebels armed
by the New Republic has
sent their greatest pilot
to Jakku, desperate to
find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…
Ooh, yeah, that’s great! Only thing I can think of is perhaps changing “greatest pilot” to “best pilot,” to match up with Kylo’s taunts during the interrogation.
Oh very well, I’ll poke around in this can of worms again 😉
You have good points, and I agree with almost everything. I was trying to be clever by stating that the goal of the First Order was to destroy any attempt to find Luke, since as you say nobody but Kylo wants to actually find him again. But it is a bit wordy. I don’t want to have the First Order declare specifically that they wish for regime change, since that would probably require action on the part of the Republic, but I would like to keep it more subtle.
That’s a darn good point about specifically calling for the fall of the Republic - more people other than Leia would have probably taken them seriously. Although…in that case, maybe it should be more clear that the Resistance does not have the full backing of the Republic (yet)? That way you can also set up that deleted scene of Leia: “Tell the Senate to get off their fat, lazy asses and help us out!”
(Darn it, the setup for this film is so convoluted lol.)
And I see what you’re going for about Kylo, but I wonder if that’s going to make things more confusing for general audiences. Why is he working with the FO (and why are they going along with it) if his goals directly oppose the FO’s only mission statement?
I also wanted to experiment with the whole “Imperial Remnant” terminology, to tie back into the world-building for this era that’s being added via the Mandoverse. What do you think?
The galaxy is in crisis.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to restore the legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.
With the Jedi gone,
Imperial Remnants have
begun to return. Emerging
from a hidden base, evil
agents of the FIRST ORDER
have been sowing disorder
and fear throughout the
New Republic.
In an act of RESISTANCE,
a band of rebels, operating
without the support of the
Senate, has sent their best
pilot to Jakku, desperate
to find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…