To be honest, I’m not really sure how I’d be able to keep Ben alive. Like, sure, I could remove the shot of him keeling over; but without any more footage after that, I don’t think the movie would feel complete. That said, I think Movies Remastered might be doing something with keeping Kylo alive - I know he’s floated the idea before, at least - so you may want to look into his work if you’re interested in exploring that angle for the film!
As for the Reylo romance, I think I’m still leaning towards removing it, yes. But the way I have it mapped out, I still want to emphasize their connection and their relationship; I just won’t make that relationship explicitly romantic. I think it’s sort of a “best of both worlds” situation: people like me, who don’t see a romantic connection between them, don’t have an awkward kiss shoved into the film at the last minute; and people like you, who do see it that way, can infer that the romance is there - they just weren’t able to physically act on it before Kylo dies.