Just had a readthrough of your proposed changes, and they’re really excellent. Had a couple of ideas:

You mentioned not having Finn, Poe, and Chewie getting captured a second time on Kylo’s ship, and minimising Hux. If you’re going to do this, you could have Pryde kill Hux for being a spy soon after the audience learns about the leaked info (very early in the movie), signifying the old First Order getting largely replaced by the new Final Order fleet.
Rey’s Kylo bedroom dagger vision could include a shot from around ROTJ timeframe showing the wayfinder sitting on the throne next to Palpatine, so long as the shot doesn’t look too borrowed from ROTJ.